This week saw two mini-breaks from my maternity leave bubble into work; for a family day and a job fair. I’ve now navigated through 9 KIT days and have kept number 10 in the back pocket. All getting a little bit real now that I’m counting down to the date I terminate my contract. Each time I go in I find myself not wanting to leave, almost holding onto the swivel chair and open plan office for those few last moments bantering with the gang. Don’t get me wrong, the place drove me crazy for most of the time but it’s a security blanket, I’m not sure I’m ready to say goodbye to.
The family day was sweltering as temperatures soared in the south east, the marquee was pretty unbearable. I’m not sure if it was actually as hot as it felt, or whether it was the ‘please behave kids’ anxiety that can be brought on in these such situations. Either way we survived the heat and all had a thoroughly lovely afternoon. Baby-G didn’t vomit over any colleagues and Toddle-G didn’t throw a mental, so I made it unscathed.
As I prepared to hit the marquee for a second time, under totally different circumstances for the job fair, the interview style nerves kicked in. Armed with my freshly written CV and feeling like a kid in fancy dress (‘business wear’) I opted for style over practicality and prayed the air con units were on good form.
The session was pretty terrifying at first, but once I got into the swing of things I actually rather enjoyed myself. Did I mention I like talking? I think I made a record by babbling to all 17 stands in the hour slot.
As advised by the consultant recruitment advisor I tried to steer clear of any mention of my maternity leave, flexible or part time working but it inevitably crept in at times. After all, I’m not even looking for a job. Am I?
Two hours later I skipped out of the (thankfully cooler) tent on an adrenaline high, buzzing with all the smoke that had quite frankly been blown somewhere. Then, as I chatted to others in the post mortem, it became apparent that a) this could have been a marketing ploy by the firms I spoke to and b) maybe the part time working question could be a fatal blow to any potential employment. It started to dawn on me that this wasn’t going to be smooth runnings.
Having chatted it through with a few people, I’m now so very confused over what my intentions are for the coming months….years…
Am I mad to consider going back to work when I have been handed a golden opportunity to spend quality time nurturing the mini-me’s. Or am I kidding myself that I would feel satisfied with the mindless mummy talk 7 days a week. It’s been fun tinkering with my cv, linked in, flirting with job offers and having big ideas about what I could do. But what if I accidentally end up with a real job?
Thankfully, I don’t need to make any decisions so guess we just see what happens next…..