Blogging or jogging*?
*May be substituted with cleaning, bathing, shopping, socialising, sleeping, internet browsing, watching, cooking.
As a new blogger, and a mum of two young children, I’m having doubts about where this new ‘hobby’ will fit in to my already hectic life.
Last week was a standard week after a busy weekend; tiring, draining, packed out. As a result the blogging slowed down a little (admittedly it probably needed to after my first few weeks of excitement / AKA addiction). Each day my head was filled with potential blog posts; each one jotted into my notes app on my iPhone waiting to fulfil it’s blog-post destiny. The list is growing daily…
There are other things I have every intention of doing soon. Organise the thousands of photos on my camera…look into taking up a course whilst I’m ‘between jobs’…oh, and get fit post baby.
After my first little bundle of joy, I found a love of running. I’m not talking marathons, or even competitive 5Ks. Just trainers on, earphones in and round the block. After kids bath/bed time, before my shower/dinner, twice, sometimes three times a week. It worked because there was no time commitment, no cost and no pressure to perform. I began to love that sense of freedom I got from running – no baby bag, no pram, no one tugging at my leg. Just me, my thoughts, some good tunes and the sensation of the air filling my lungs. I paired up with a pal which was a great incentive as we’d push each other on and try not to let each other down if we’d arranged a run. Plus, we could catch up on gossip which was a major bonus (once we were good enough to be able to breathe, run, talk in unison) and I felt good that for once socialising didn’t end up with a 3 day hangover.
The running dwindled when pregnancy number 2 happened. I had every intention of getting back to it after the arrival of my second baby, once I got my evenings back. With TG that was what, 8 weeks in, maybe 12? I figured by January I’d be back to the old routine. Ha ha, lets all laugh now at my naivety.
My evenings nowadays generally take a standard routine…6.00 ish the kettle goes on for milk, the bath is run. By 6.45 baby-G is soundo (for how long is anyones guess). *Cue time after baby #1, trainers would be on and I’d be out of the door* The revised schedule with two kids means we have a bit more coercing to get the all clear. Stories, hair brushing, teeth brushing, wee before bed…you get the idea. By 7.30 T-G is pretty much out for the count and it’s ‘our time’. Our time, that is, to do everything we haven’t had time to do during the day, plus prepare and eat our dinner, clean up, reply to messages, call mum back, do a sweep of the house. Take a shower / bath, sort my hair. As BBG still is unsettled at night and up by 6 I’m pretty much a walking zombie by 10.00 at the latest, so that leaves approximately an hour, an hour and a half of time to myself per day. Subtract the days we might have stuff on…a drink with the girls, friends or family over, a late night for the kids, watching a film together (‘Quality time’)…
So what is all this waffle getting to? The point is, my blog friends, that I am struggling to find the time to do the things I want to be doing. How on earth do some of the other pro-blogger mums of 5 manage to fit in all that blogging, tweeting, crafting, general perfect parenting? Sure I can keep up with the social media side of blogging via my smart phone, but that isn’t what I wanted being a blogger to be about. Especially when my three year old asks me to put my phone down, and, is exactly the reason I embraced a facebook blackout during my first maternity leave.
Take this week. Monday evening, I was seriously contemplating this to be the night I dusted off those trainers (and they needed serious dusting, having been under the hall way dresser through a 10 week building renovation). I came close, so close. But, I did need to get a Tesco food shop ordered online. And I did so want to write a blog that was burning a hole in my pocket. So I made the choice; blogging over jogging. The result? Quite frankly an exhausted-brain mess of a blog that was promptly deleted. If you read it, I can only apologise. A food shop which was updated in 3 parts, unsaved and totally ballsed up. A week of no food for dinners, resulting in 3 takeaways (compounding the no jogging decision impact on my mum-tum). An over tired, emotional, ‘nothing left’ falling into bed. In summary, a write off.
Like so many of us mums, I want it all. I want to be an amazing mum to my girls and fill their days with fun experiences and hearty wholesome food. I want the freedom to express my own interests an hobbies; writing, exploring this new adventure. Seeing my friends; maintaining the friendships that I have left, post motherhood, where some have fallen down the cracks. Enjoy the company of my husband and maintain a healthy marriage. I want to take care of my body in order to keep that vessel going as long as possible to watch my kids grow up. And yes, I do want to look good in those new jeans. I just want….. a few more hours in each day please?
I doubt its just me who puts too much pressure on myself to be all of those things, After all, being a parent of two children is a huge task. Keeping them clean, fed, happy…alive. Although, I know there are things I could do to make my life easier. Mostly, revolving around feeding the G-unit… ‘One meal for all’ is my mantra. If I can feed baby, toddler, myself, and hubby (home later) in a one stop shop dinner which can be served, kept warm, reheated, my evenings are so much more relaxed. (That was my new years resolution, and was going great until the house renovation.) It just seems lately I’ve fallen into the trap of being a catering establishment serving 6 different meals a day.
As I face a new week ahead, I will learn from my mistakes. I can be a blogger, but not at the cost of being a sane mother.