I love being at home for the girls every day, since being made redundant. Like, really love it.
For now, I don’t want to look for a job. I’m content; happier than I expected to be.
And the hubster? He has a good job, that’s giving him loads of opportunities, it’s supportive, let’s him leave on time, and is a pretty good commute to the big smoke, compared to some others.
I’ve noticed a parenting phenomenon. I like to call it ‘The worst day competition’. It goes something like this…
MMT: [Having just dried up and put away the last pot from dinner, swept up the last grain of rice from the floor, put the last toy from todays play date back in the toy box; sits down and picks up phone for first time in hours…whilst children with happily filled up tummies start winding down (in front of Peppa Pig).]
Mr G: [Walks through the door at six, to a scene of domestic bliss. A stark transformation from 60 minutes prior, whilst hungry crying children cling to my legs whilst I’m preparing dinner].
Mini-G’s: [Go nuts with happiness. Daddy’s home].
Mr G: “Kids are in a great mood!”
MMT: Moans about how kids have been such hard work all day and this is the first time all day she’s sat down. Then, “How was your day?”
Mr G: “Pretty rubbish”
MMT: “I’m so tired…”
Mr G: “I’m exhausted. And I’ve been at work all day you know…”
MMT: “My day hasn’t exactly been a bed of roses…”
And so on…and so on…you get the idea.
I wonder why is it we feel we both need to challenge who had the tougher day? No doubt we both had days mixed with struggles and wins, but ultimately we both are very happy with where we are, if we weren’t, we would change something. Why do we always look for the negatives? Am I turning into my Nan? How did the chaos of the 4-6 witching hour erase all positivity from my day? Make me forget the magical moments, the funny conversations, the sleepy cuddles, the great fun we had?
I think each of us thinks the other got off lightly – a day with adults, a pub lunch, time ‘to yourself’ Vs a day at home, with our children, having fun, not having to answer to anyone. That grass just looks so much greener, doesn’t it?!
In truth, the alternative isn’t always peachier; and the reality isn’t all bad either.
I guess we both hope the other will ride in on a white horse; shower us with comfort, offer a massage, to run a bubble bath, to sort out the others favourite dinner. We both want a bit of me time, to unwind and not feel so tired, especially after a year of broken sleep. Whichever one of us got up to do the 5am shift, the other one didn’t exactly get an undisturbed lay in. But both craving that sympathy so bad, neither is willing to let our own fight down to win the prize for most deserving.
So, together, we put the kids to bed. Sometimes, he is my hero by ordering us a takeaway. Sometimes I make his day by saying yes to that film I don’t really fancy. We face the night wakings as a team.
In reality, I don’t think either of our days were so bad after all.
So tomorrow, maybe I’ll let him win. MMT 0, Mr G 1.