Do as I say, not as I do.

That pretty much sums up my parenting technique lately. Must be pretty confusing for those little minds, when you think about it. Spending all day watching us doing  a lot of preaching, but not a lot of practicing.

There is just so much that we (I) expect them to do, which frankly, I wouldn’t expect myself or any sane adult to do…In fact, us parents can, at times, be big giant hypocrites to those little peeps.

For example…

1. Pass me the iPad ( or iPooter as it’s called in the G-unit). Yes, you have had far too much time playing with the Peppa Pig app. And Mummy hasn’t been able to check her blog stats for almost twenty minutes.
2. No, you cannot have crisps for lunch again today. It’s not good to have them every day (as Mummy attempts to disguise a rustle in the cupboard and sucks on Hula Hoops silently resisting the urge to crunch. Yes, you have done it, you know you have).
3. GO. TO. SLEEP. I know you aren’t tired, but it’s bedtime! Says Mummy, who lay awake half the night thinking about shopping lists, birthday plans, blog goals, insert other random topic here.
4. We are leaving the house, which means you have to have a wee. Okay but please just TRY and go. You think you don’t need to go because you already went 5 minutes ago but Mummy really wants us all to be 100% sure.
5. Try and eat a bit more please…just three more bites. And one for luck. I know you’re full, but Mummy is a feeder…I know Mummy hasn’t had dinner yet…I’ll eat later with Daddy…when I’m hungrier.
6. That’s enough junk on telly for one day. Let’s go and do something fun and wholesome. (Hmmm how long till bedtime, a new series of Made In Chelsea / TOWIE / I’m a Celeb / X factor starts tonight).
7. No squash honey, water is much better for you (As Mummy opens a chilled can of diet coke).
8. No you can’t choose to wear that party dress to nursery…because Mummy chose you this Nursery outfit which is better.
9. Come on, cheer up grumpy. It’s not nice to be in such a bad mood. (No explanation necessary).
10. Please eat that yummy dinner of fishy slop Mummy made for you. It’s so good for you.  No, it isn’t yukky, it’s delicious. And all the nice green veggies too. Ours? It’s Friday sweetie, we’re getting an Indian. You wouldn’t like it.

Yep, maybe tomorrow I’ll try and see the world through their eyes a bit more.

Maybe.

x MMT