Someone once told me not to feel bad about feeling envy, for it is a basic human emotion; caused simply by wanting something which another person has.
Whilst I have tried to believe this, it’s hard to be at peace with that feeling of bitterness which rises up from within all too often. I know I’m not alone here.
“I won’t be at the park today gang – I’m off to a Spa day”
Whilst externally it’s so easy to say “Fabulous, have fun!”, internally it’s hard not to get the violins out for poor old me. A spa day is of course the Mum fantasy of dreams, so it’s kinda tempting to scream out “TAKE ME WITH YOU”.
“We won’t be around this half term – off to the Maldives for some Winter Sun!”
I mean, we wouldn’t even entertain travelling long haul with the kids, so I don’t know why it suddenly seems to be the one thing all important after hearing other people’s holiday plans? I guess it’s all those memories of far flung holidays in the days pre-kids flooding the school-run-in-the-rain-frazzled-mum-brain.
“My husband is amazing, he does all the cooking / cleaning / lets me lay in every day / gets up with the kids etc etc etc….”
“My other half does an incredible roast for us all every Sunday with all the trimmings…”
Really? Jeez, I need to have words with the hubby. Unless a Roast can be barbecued or comes in a box with instructions to cook at 180 degrees for 15 minutes that’s unlikely to be happening anytime soon.
“I just got back from our annual long weekend with the girls. It was such a laugh, best place ever…”
Right that’s it, I am SO going to organise a girly weekend away, maybe for next year. Although I’m sure I said that last year?
“The new house is great but it needs so much work doing to it. We’ll probably start in the loft conversion, work down to the cellar- snug and finish off with the summer house and maybe an outdoor play area.”
Another forever home. Also known as ‘We are incredibly richer than you home’. It’s all too easy to get on the house envy band wagon. As soon as you’ve bought your first / second / third home, finished the renovation, and even installed your dream kitchen, you’ll soon be drooling over someone else’s latest purchase and wishing (just a tiny bit) it was yours.
“It’s date night this weekend, well actually rather a day date Saturday morning to Sunday night…the grandparents love having the kids so much, I don’t even know what we’re going to do with ourselves”.
I know, I know….they’re our kids, our responsibility and we love them. But some people have the childcare support thing so damn good don’t they?!
“I’m pretty lucky really. My little one just loves lentils and steamed fish. They just CANNOT get enough of Kale.”
Kale dipped in ketchup, disguised in breadcrumbs as nuggets, surely?
But then again, I remember once upon a time the Green Eyed Monster used to crop up in totally different circumstances…
“We have some exciting news!”
“It wasn’t even planned!”
Yes, it’s fair to say that monster lurking inside is somewhat of a shapeshifter. There was definitely a time I’d have given pretty much anything to have had my nights out, weekends away, me time traded in for a tiny sleep thief of my very own.
And not too long after that, it felt the only thing that would make our life complete was a sibling for our first born.
And anyway, whilst we are all so busy trying to contain our Mum-envy, who knows to whom WE might be the focus of someone else’s jealousy. The envious becomes the enviee (made up word alert).
Lovely home, lovely family, able to take a career break, incredible friends, a decent social-family life balance, a pretty perfect hubby…yeah it’s probably time to kick that ugly well-jel alter ego to the kerb. Remember, a bit of ‘wanting what someone else has’ is totally natural, we are all only human, but be focused on all the good stuff we got going on right under our own nose.
Yes, I definitely feel so much better after working this through with you guys.
“Our kids didn’t get up until 10.30am on Saturday morning!”
I hate you.