Be here now

This post originally featured on MeetOtherMums.com.

As an unemployed parent, stay at home Mum, primary caregiver….whatever you want to call it, the one question I find myself answering over and over again is ‘What are you going to do about work?’.

It’s not that I blame them – it’s a fair question. One that I ask myself all the time. I have set myself many markers in the sand as the ‘perfect time’ to reassess my career options, and consider returning to the working Mum version of me that I never envisaged leaving behind.

And yet, as each marker approaches, and passes me by, the time just doesn’t feel right.

This summer felt pretty monumental, as the pre-school days slipped away with our first daughter preparing to start primary school. Maybe it has something to do with turning 35, or seeing my own elderly relatives health deteriorate, or maybe this stage would always come.

You see, what I have realised is that time spent today, worrying about tomorrow, is time wasted. These days are the time of my life, the days I will look back on, as my Grandmother has to me on her hospital bed. The good days and the bad, they are all so precious and not to be taken for granted.

Our baby days are fading, and these last stages of dependency from our youngest will pass by in a flash too. Don’t get me wrong, I pine for the day she’ll sleep all night and eat a square meal without a spot of bungee jumping from the high chair. But, I’m all too aware there will be a day I’ll be back behind a desk, stressed over work, and these moments will be the golden summers of my past.

I have thrown myself back into a healthy mindset – not to squeeze into a pair of size 8 jeans, or to achieve an unattainable flat stomach post two kids. It’s all about wanting to be in the best shape I can, in order to be around for my girls. Hopefully, to be able to offer them some support and guidance should they find themselves to be muddling through motherhood.

The Gallagher brothers were onto something, something maybe I only just appreciate, decades later. I cannot predict the future, but I can be here now. Focused, engaged, present, happy. Doing the most important job I’ll ever do.

x MMT

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