I imagined what it would be like when the big one started school – how it would be an opportunity to really get to focus on the Mouse and spend some quality time together. I imagined slow walks to the park with her, play dates with some other overlooked siblings, and lazy days at home painting, playing games and doing puzzles.
And maybe the odd bit of TV.
What I had taken for granted is that I still have boring stuff to do, and ‘Sans sister’ to play with sometimes the only friends around to keep her company while Mummy gets on are inside a square box in the living room.
I had long forgotten about some of these shows, that have been rejected for their babyish tones by Tigs. Yes, poor Mouse had not yet had the joys of Andy’s dinosaurs, Mr Bloom’s marrows or Mr Tumble dressed as a Woman…until now.
I’m not sure what the Beeb bosses were thinking when they cast the perfect mother for Topsy and Tim as that one from Albert Square who was having it off with Max Branning and got bumped off with a nasty bang to the head. But, in a strange way, I kind of enjoy watching the perfect existence of the twins and co; it’s like Made in Chelsea for kids.
And I’m still wondering if that Welsh lady from ‘Let’s Play is Alex Jones’ twin sister? Or, is it Alex herself, in a pre-glossy One Show life?
I had totally forgotten about that sinking feeling when you realise you are enduring ‘Show me, show me’ for a painful second time and therefore clearly failing miserably at motherhood. It’s normally at this point the TV gets switched off and a pack of crayons appear as a desperate attempt to regain some parenting self-worth.
But on a positive note, I’m over the moon that that Granny Murray and the rest of her quite frankly, oddball friends have buggered off. 6 am starts are bad enough without that trauma. That truly was children’s TV at it’s worst.
Kids TV has certainly gone through some evolution in our house. There was a day that Tigs would literally beg us for more Bing, and our toyboxes were overflowing with the never ending toy range fuelled by the CBeebies marketing crew.
But then there was a sudden turn of events. Rejected for it’s immaturity, we were overjoyed to discover a whole new channel of Nickelodeon Junior. I’m ashamed to say I was actually quite into Paw Patrol initially. Those Pups are pretty cool (if somewhat Geographically confused, with their English accents but American emergency services gear).
Peppa Pig however has always been one I’m a bit sceptical of. As a friend once pointed out, how can a kids TV show be so popular when the main character looks like a talking cock & balls? Now that’s a mental image you can never unsee, and you’ll be sniggering at every home baked phallic Peppa Pig birthday cake you ever see popping up on your social news feed forever more.
We soon moved on to the Disney film phase. The joy was short lived and the obsessive compulsive princess obsession soon drove us to the brink. (Apart from the Cinderella movie, I’m always obliged to kick back and chill with Robb Stark for a couple of hours).
Thanks to the movement towards on demand TV, Peppa, The Pups and what I’ll only describe as ‘Princess drivel’ has had me running for the hills / park / garden / TV free zone of the house. We are no screen-free-family by any means, but TV has it’s time and place at our place. And that doesn’t include ‘all day every day’, mainly for selfish reasons and retention of my sanity. TV time has mainly been reserved for the 6a.m. graveyard shift, the post park zone out, and the ‘Please let Mummy cook in peace‘ time windows.
Yet here we are, somehow back in time to the initial excitement of hearing our tot mumbling ‘Hello, Mr. Tumble’ in the cutest voice ever. Back where it all began, four years ago.
We’re rummaging through the bottom of the toy boxes and dusting off a rather dusty Iggle Piggle and tatty old Woolly ‘It’s only a toy spider’ and I’m kind of sad I sold that Mr Tumble rucksack on eBay for fifty pence. They are like old friends, so familiar to me yet so new to her (in the absence of her sister the telly dictator). Yes, it’s time to appreciate this stage before I blink and it’s over again, and this time for ever.
And then she’ll want that offensive pig back on.
x MMT
Ashley October 20, 2016
I can’t stop laughing about peppa pig! This is a constant in my house…all I will see are a cock and balls now! At least I’ll enjoy it a little more!! #coolmumclub
beautybabyandme October 20, 2016
Oh God I hate that bloody pig ha ha! I love the message in this post – time does fly!! We’ve not watched all these shows yet (clearly there is life after EastEnders eh!) but goodness knows what is in store for me with this and everything else Josh is going to throw my way xx #coolmumclub
Back With A Bump October 20, 2016
My daughter was a huge Me Tumble fan and if anything at least she learnt some signing from it. My dislike for Peppard as how short it was so every 5 minutes the same stupid tune would start again and then I’d go to work with the Bing Bong Song stuck in my head! #coolmumclub
Chilli Regina October 20, 2016
Yes, the never ending dillema of TV kids shows. I remember, when I was a kid, that cartoons and kid’s shows were far less agressive, less childish and more educative.. So, my husband and I limited watching of TV on Animal Planet and together with kids we picked Disney cartoons that they can watch over computer once or twice a week and some cartoons on Minimax that passed the test:). I think that the older the kids are, more selective they become..
#coolmumclub
Becky October 20, 2016
Brilliant! I’ll never be able to look at that stupid pig the same way again! I always knew there was something odd about her!
I try to reserve TV for those ‘mummy needs 5 minutes’ moments but considering baby is only 8 months a couple of minutes in front of baby TV and he’s bord! I know our TV time will come!!
#coolmumclub xx
ljdove23 October 20, 2016
Hahaha you have totally ruined Peppa Pig for me now!! Not that I was ever enjoying it, I HATE that show….not as much as I hate show me, show me! I find myself singing that song all of the time, and most of the other theme tunes too. Why do kids enjoy this crap quite so much?!! #coolmumclub
The Kitschy Mumma October 20, 2016
I struggle with TV to play ratio as my Daughter will not play on her own so I’m expected to literally sit all day and play board games, snakes and ladders or Dr Drill n Fill playdoh. It’s something I get extreme mum guilt about. ‘Me Too’ is just awful, but she loves it! #coolmumclub
Ursula (AKA Mumbelievable) October 20, 2016
Haha!!! Great post. Can’t stop laughing at the ‘cock and balls’ comparison with that damn pig….pretty apt really given that she’s a huge bellend!! You have made me laugh this morning, lovely so a huge thank you for that. Thx for hosting #coolmumclub Xxx
Talya October 20, 2016
Haha! We are stuck on major binge mode of Paw Patrol on Netflix and have been so for months – God help me! Sending lots of #coolmumclub lovely xx
Island Living 365 October 20, 2016
Firstly ‘cock and balls” I am never going to be able to look at that sweet, innocent pig the same way 😉 Secondly, I secretly loved Topsy and Tim and even more, the fact that the mum was moonlighting. Although I used to confuse the kids when I would shout – where’s Max you hussy! #CoolmumClub
alisonlonghurst October 20, 2016
Peppa Pig: a talking cock and balls…I studied the cake, I agree. Alison x #coolmumclub
theidentitythieves October 20, 2016
Ah my son was ill yesterday and didn’t want to do anything apart from watch TV (fair enough, that’s how I feel too). Still felt like a “bad mother” for it – especially as my 15 month old then just stared at it for ages too. But CBeebies for a whole day, much as I love it, is enough to drive anyone to the brink. #coolmumclub
Samsam - Simply A Mama October 20, 2016
hahaha now i have the image of Peppa pig stuck in my head #coolmumcclub
thetaleofmummyhood October 20, 2016
My eldest has just learnt to say ‘Bing’. She now passes me the remote and say’s ‘Bing’ – constantly! I hate bing!
#coolmumclub
MMT October 20, 2016
We love a bit of’Ming’ in our house!! X
RachelSwirl October 20, 2016
In our house Peppa has remained a firm favourite. I’m not keen on the pig but my kids seem to love her.
Sarah October 20, 2016
Ah, my 11 month old is just starting to ‘get’ tv. Blessing and curse as you say. It’s great for pre tea time keeping her occupied (thanks Peter Rabbit!) and when she was a bit poorly but that’s all we’ve really had. So Far…..GULP! #coolmumclub
mrsmummyharris86 October 20, 2016
I think I must be the only mum who’s kid hates all kids tv apart from Paw patrol. I am not complaining haha
#coolmumclub
Kirsten Toyne October 20, 2016
Time really flies with children although it doesn’t always feel that way! I still occasionally find myself humming some of the kids programme tunes my boys used to watch. #coolmumclub
One Messy Mama October 20, 2016
I sit writing this comment as my 2 year old is frozen watching Peppa Pig.. 🙂 I mean seriously, I have never met a more chauvinistic father before.. Daddy pig knows it all!?!! I do love Mr Bloom though, we used to get it in South Africa. But alas it’s hard to get anything but american tv in America… #coolmumclub
tinmccarthy October 20, 2016
talking cock and balls- I just peed my pants a little. I am such a Peppa hater. I have a few articles on those assclowns.
#coolmumsclub
tootingmama October 20, 2016
Oh god Topsy and Tim used to send me into a big depression, I’m doing everything wrong, why can’t I be this cheery all the time! I’m hooting about Peppa Pig! Wait till the My Little Pony phase starts and you have to know you Apple Jack from your Rainbow Dash.
Jemma@thimbleandtwig October 20, 2016
oh and the sickening Topsy and Tim – that programme does my head in. Having said that, I’m partial to a bit of Katie Morag, now there’s a sensible child who wouldn’t give Peppa Pig the time of day. #coolmumsclub
Angela Watling October 20, 2016
I think Peppa Pig is hilarious with the stereotyped characters I must say. But I can understand why people want to throw things at the TV. I certainly won’t look at Peppa in the same now though… I feel a bit disturbed. Thank goodness my 20 month old is of an innocent mind! #CoolMumClub
anywaytostayathome October 20, 2016
Oh my god I think you’ve actually improved Peppa Pig for me. There’s no way I can watch it without laughing now. #CoolMumClub
Harriet October 20, 2016
We pretty much have the same tv schedule here. Although it’s normally earlier than 6am, but thankfully (although it could be bad) my one has worked out how to turn the tv on himself! Thank you for forever ruining cock-face Peppa pig for me. #coolmumclub
Jackie October 20, 2016
I dream of the days my little one will actually watch a cartoon. She’s 19 months and can’t watch any of them for more than a few seconds. The only thing she enjoys watching on TV are music videos :-/ needless to say I know the words to EVERY song in the charts and two days after a new release, I know the words to it too 😉 Roll on Peppa I say! #coolmumsclub
Rainbowsaretoobeautiful October 20, 2016
On demand, iplayer, Netflix, Amazon
Prime – everything can be played back to back just about everywhere in the house. I was so pleased when we went from Peppa Pig to Ben and Holly. It was just a bit more imaginative and funny. Thanks for hosting #coolnumclub xxx
Double the Monkey Business October 21, 2016
Ha ha I laughed out loud re Topsy and Tim’s mum, I just cant see past her as that eastenders character!! Nick Jnr is our friend in this house!! Endless entertainment when you are trying to get the housework done xx #coolmumclub
rockandrosesmama October 21, 2016
Ok I had never seen Peppa pig in that light before… you are right… I will never ever unsee that! Im a Disney/Pixar fanatic so I am quite happy for the little man to have a Disney or Pixar movie on in the background while we/he plays. I don’t normally put kids tv shows on but when they do get put on occasionally it is Ben and Holly or Waybuloo… he LOVES that one! Weirdly! <3 #coolmumclub
Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) October 21, 2016
I am in fits over Peppa Pig – I had never noticed that before and now I’ll never not see it! Brilliant. Glad to hear that Mouse is enjoying some old CBeebies favourites again – and yes, I’m with you on being very happy to see the back of Granny Murray and crew – definitely one of the worst programmes ever and to have to endure it at 6am (especially if it was before coffee) was quite hellish at times. #coolmumclub
Rhyming with Wine October 22, 2016
3 years I have been watching that pig. 3 years. Never once have I spotted that she does indeed look like a teenage drawing of Mister bits. Dear God why didn’t I see that?? I will now watch every episode with my inner monologue shouting “Cock and balls! Cock and Balls! Cock and balls!!!” Thanks for that. 😉 #coolmumclub xx
MMT October 22, 2016
Ha ha, sorry…but it’ll never be the same again. No wonder I keep blowing out the idea of Peppa Pig world! x
Helena October 23, 2016
Your post really amused me. I’ll never look at Peppa pig the same again! #coolmumclub
Mum in Brum October 23, 2016
Aw brilliant – cannot believe I never noticed that about Peppa Pig!!!? I always think that about the Alex Jones lookalike too – I find her a tad annoying actually, she smiles WAY too much!! And yes, Topsy and Time really is like Made in Chelsea for kids, fab observations! I always think that one day I’ll hear the theme tune for the Night Garden and it will have me weeping, remembering ‘those days’. I don’t think I’ve ever been so familiar with the TV before in my life as I am now. xx #coolmumclub
min1980 October 24, 2016
Ah I love a bit of kids TV. There’s always so much to say on the subject! Piglet is not a huge fan of Peppa, which is just as well as I will never be able to look at her in the same way again after that cock and balls comment! Thanks for linking up with #SchoolsOut
The Mum Reviews October 24, 2016
This is so funny. Only us really good parents know that CBeebies plays the same shows over again in the afternoon – it’s a BBC ploy to make us feel guilty. And thanks for mentioning Granny Murray. Now I have ‘I love to skip in Riversea Fingle’ stuck in my head again. I also never noticed who the Topsy & Tim actress was. That is really funny. But at least her proper acting street cred makes up for the dad who couldn’t act his way out of a boat to the Night Garden. #schoolsout
Accidental Hipster Mum October 24, 2016
Haha I love this! I don’t mind Peppa! My daughter wants to evolve to the Disney channel but we’re too poor for that so she’s stuck with CBeebies which is the boy’s choice. So repetitive!
#SchoolsOut
andanothertenthings October 24, 2016
I will never look at Peppa Pig again. My daughter LOVES CBeebies (and so do I really). I think I’ll be sad when she grows out of it and not just because I’m a teeny bit in love with Mr Bloom. Thanks for linking up to #schoolsout.
chocolateandwineandillbefine October 26, 2016
My two are very close in age so growing out of the same stuff at the same time. I am quite sad they don’t watch peppa pig anymore as I quite liked it (though I will never look at it or the cake I made in the same way ever again)! I will be sad when they grow out of topsy and tim (I hate it but they love it so much it will be sad to see the back of it). This post makes me want another baby to start over all of the rubbish TV again! I am so glad I am not the only one who gets a bit worried when the repeat of show me show me begins! The TV has clearly been on too long at that point! #schoolsout
Lisa October 26, 2016
Oh my goodness! I never thought of Peppa in that way, I just hated her for being so rude and nasty to poor George. Wait until they’re older and you end up with Cartoon Network and some of the ‘interesting’ stuff on there. I often have to endure The Amazing World of Gumball and Adventure Time. We Bare Bears is quite amusing though… Anyway have fun with Iggle Piggle and Mr Tumble and enjoy your half term break #SchoolsOut x