Back again for another (#FF) #coolmumclub; Meet the Members. Week 4, already…Where did that go? I’m thrilled to introduce you all to Lucy…the comic genius behind the blog ‘This Mums Life’. I fell in love with Lucy’s writing after we bonded over dummy dramas (Living with a dummy addict). The rest is history. A regular to Thursdays #coolmumclub Linky, be sure to single out Lucys posts if you’re looking for a light hearted read about a Mum who dreams of soft plays with in built wine bars. I know…sold already. Check out This Mums Life Blog here. And be sure to give her a follow on twitter if you aren’t already here. Word on the street is she can also be found on facebook here (what would I know about that?!).
Over to you Lucy
Hi, I’m Lucy,
…the frazzled mum behind This Mum’s Life, powered by wine, cheese, and more wine. I can usually be found wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing for a week, attempting to keep standards up by at least changing my granny pants daily (hunting various radiators for said granny pants in the process of drying/moaning they’re all in the wash.) I used to be able to wear nice pants (or knickers!) but since my behind grew to Vesuvius proportions following the birth of my two children, it will actually eat any knickers smaller than a large tent, so granny comfort it is! Regular haunts include soft play, toddler groups, my mums house, and coffee shops. In the majority of soft plays, I will be found rocking in the corner, dreaming of running my own soft play, which offers a complimentary glass of wine on entry, with free top ups every time your child has a tantrum.
I live in Bristol, a city I have a total and utter love affair with. I love it so much it’s like I’m seeing it behind my husband’s back. What’s not to love about shutting down a major road and having a giant water slide run from top to bottom, just for the hell of it, and finding a giant Shaun The Sheep dressed as Isambard Kingdom Brunel, at the end of your road? I could peruse the diversity of Gloucester Road, and Stokes croft shops for days on end… without my double buggy and energetic tiny humans!! Which brings me to…
I am a Stay At Home Mum to my two boys, the eldest, Deep Thinker, born in December 2012, and the youngest, Mini Assassin, born in March 2014. There is just over 14 months between them. A common FAQ surrounding this age gap is Was It Planned? So for anyone who may be wondering, yes! It was planned! As soon as one baby was out, I felt the overwhelming need to ‘get it out of the way quickly’ and have another one, I was blessed that it worked out for me that way, and I’m pleased as punch that it did, because I know many people who’ve planned the same thing, and it hasn’t worked out.
From as soon as I could walk, my dream was to be a dancer, and as the daughter of an ex musical theatre dancer, no less was expected of me! But of course, one of life’s biggest lessons is about the best laid plans and all that… So I went from training to be a dancer for 30 hours a week, having learnt and sometimes competed in ballet, tap, modern, jazz, contemporary, Latin-American, and ballroom dance, to becoming a staff nurse… Injury, the constant quest to be thin, (it’s a cut throat world of if you’re not skinny, you’re out on your ear,) and a lack of confidence, lead me away from the path I always thought I’d take, and into a world of inspiring people, battling chronic debilitating, and often terminal illnesses, eccentric older people with amazing stories to tell, and the biggest learning curve of life lessons a person can ever be given. When Deep Thinker arrived, the possibility of returning to work was taken away from me because it was impossible to do shift work with the constraints of nursery hours, and my salary wouldn’t have covered the cost anyway. Besides, deep down, I’d always thought being a Stay At Home Mum was really where I wanted to be, and where I’d be happiest…
But of course, I should’ve guessed, there’s always a curve ball…! In the first six months of Deep Thinker’s life, I struggled, like I never imagined I’d struggle. As a raging insomniac, and shift worker, I could cope with the tiredness, but I couldn’t cope with the nervous energy I had from the anxiety of being responsible for this tiny life. While my friends were relishing the opportunity to sit at home in their pyjamas, swapping their babies from boob to boob, I was terrified of being in the house, and missed the structure of a working day. So most days, I was out of the house by 9, and didn’t come back until late afternoon. I felt so unlike myself that I was desperate to grab hold of something that would make me feel normal. My biggest regret is that anxiety caused me to miss out on spending that amazing chill time with Deep Thinker on my chest, while I watched box sets. I also suffered an intense period of PND after Mini Assassin was born, which is now only levelled with medication.
I’ve found being a SAHM to be a Jekyll and Hyde journey of extremes. One minute filled with so much love for my children, I could actually eat them, and one minute wanting to bang my head against a wall and scream into a pillow. I’ve been surrounded by new friends and mums, yet lonely. I’ve learnt so much about myself, yet I often feel lost, like I don’t know who I am. Having children is a huge privilege, and so is being a SAHM, but it’s not quite the romantic journey I thought it’d be.
So, This Mum’s Life was born from those feelings, the long hours I spent out with Deep Thinker, walking him around in the pushchair to pass time.
I’d think in my head how I would relay my motherhood stories and things I was feeling, to other people. Then I started thinking maybe I would blog about it, and started a journal (well, I always say ‘journal,’ what it really was, was notes I scribbled onto scraps of paper I found lying around, and the ‘notes’ section of my iPhone.) It was only three months ago that I found the courage to realise the dream, and start the blog.
There’s so much I want to get from it. I want to connect with others who have had similar experiences. I thought maybe my experiences could help others going through the same things, and help them feel normal.
I wanted catharsis, to rid my head of all the thoughts crammed into it. I wanted something for me, because my whole day is about the boys, and putting their every need before my own. They are fulfilled in every possible way, to the best of my (sometimes haphazard) ability, and my needs are not. I know that comes with being a mum, but I love this outlet, which provides me with a little therapy, and a way to review the things that happen to me with a dose of humour, and sprinkles of laughter. It’s This Mum’s Life because it’s my little dose of narcissism in a world where I’m largely forgotten. And I get to write, something I’m ridiculously passionate about. My plans for the blog are to keep expanding it, I’m adding a ‘fail of the week’ page, for all the hilarious situations I find myself in. I’m also adding a ‘what I’m watching this week’ page, to feed my Netflix and boxset addiction by being able to talk about it too! I want to improve my writing and be the best I can possibly be. Blogging has given me a new lease of life, and even though my journey is just starting, I’m loving it, and absolutely made up to be part of the Cool Mum Club! Thank you so much MMT for featuring me!
One random fact before I sign off: I used to dance in a performance burlesque troupe! I performed until 7 months pregnant, and returned when DT was 3 months…! I’m currently on a break from the troupe, due to baby weight not looking good in hot pants and corsets issues…! Due to wine and cheese consumption, this situation may or may not be rectified!