Super Mum. Do you know her? Perhaps you’ve crossed paths with her once or twice, probably at a PTA meeting or whizzing past you on the school run in designer gym gear. Ironically, to someone else you may be perceived as Super Mum – juggling work and kids who always seem so well behaved, with plenty of time to yourself, and loads of help from your friends and family. Or conversely, blissfully a stay at home Mum, never missing a school performance or trip, always there at the classroom door and knowing everyone in the line, every school calendar date and all over each school notice.
Perhaps you aspire to be her, Super Mum. Trying your best to keep it all together on the surface like that swan, whilst you’re paddling like crazy underneath.
The fact of the matter is, it’s time to smash the Super Mum Myth. To realise that there is no such thing as a perfect Mum – even her, PTA queen with the school run wardrobe of a Kate Moss.
I got my hands on a copy of The Super Mum Myth as soon as it was published by Dr Rachel Andrew and Anya Hayes – a pilates teacher specialising in pregnancy and postnatal classes, a pregnancy, parenting and wellness writer, a blogger, and also, a Mum. I got to know Anya through some pretty remarkable ladies who let me into their gang on Instagram, and who continue to inspire me daily with their humour, their strength, their honesty and their passion.
I’ve been reading the book for a few months now, and felt compelled to share with you exactly why you should own a copy of your own.
I should start by saying that for me The Super Mum Myth, for me, isn’t a book to wind down to in bed after a day grafting it as an imperfect Mum. Well, unless you need a little pep talk on your parenting that day, that is. I’ve reserved my bedside table for a spot of Jo Jo Moyes, and tend to refer to The Super Mum Myth as a daytime read, a self help book if you like for parenting lows, and a general bible on how to celebrate yourself as a Mother.
FRIDAY GOALS | Yes this actually happened to me today. An hour of blissful unadulterated laying on a bed with coffee and a (marvellous) book. It’s time a bit of self care stopped being at the bottom of my to do list – and, what an uplifting read which I am LOVING (and recommending to every Mum I meet) thanks so much @mothers.wellness.toolkit ⚡️⚡️⚡️🙌🏻😘 . . . . . . . . . . . . #coolmumclub #thismamaloves #ukparentbloggers #thesupermummyth #mumlife #instamum #snaphappybritmums #thewhitelist #selfcare #pbloggers #metime #friday #friyay
It is however funny, warm, reassuring and light hearted – whilst touching on some pretty heavy subjects such as birth trauma, postnatal health, identity issues, relationships, school politics, teenagers, career and wellbeing. The tone of the book is somewhat like a warm hug from a friend, telling you are doing a fantastic job, and exactly what every cream crackered Mum needs to hear.
The book’s narrative encourages you to let go of the mothering ideal we have been exposed to in the media – to stop pining to be Super Mum. It includes excerpts from real mothers throughout, opening up about how they have felt in various scenarios, allowing you as the reader to realise that it’s okay to feel not okay – and plenty of other Mums aren’t relishing every element of the role of being in charge of keeping humans alive. You’ll laugh, nod along and recognise yourself in some of (plenty of) the anecdotes.
Aside from its ‘we’re all in it together’ vibe, The Super Mum Myth also contains a series of activities to actually carry out yourself, in order to work through some of your thought processes and reflect on why your mindset might not at it’s optimum. Through the interaction with the authors in these practical exercises, they can actually help you feel better about yourself. For example, by thinking back on past events such as your pregnancy journey, your labour, you might address some of the trauma you experienced, and acknowledge it as a triumph, allowing you to partly move on from it. Other activities prompt you to consider some of the positive elements of your motherhood journey, or to reflect on how you imagined life would be, recognising your perhaps unachievable expectations, and let them go.
Visualisation techniques, breathing exercises, mindfulness tasks, positivity exercises and thought logs are just some of the tasks the book walks you through – all are easy to carry out, and allow you to really think about the things that maybe you have been beating yourself up about.
The Super Mum Myth has so much information and advice to improve any Mums mental wellbeing, but there were two concepts which have really stuck with me so far (and I know I’ll be referring to this book for years to come).
The first was about negativity within your relationship – that interactions between couples should be 5:1 Positive to negative. Certainly something we have been underperforming in lately. Noted.
The second was the concept of postnatal depletion – a phrase I had never heard before, which describes that feeling in the years after becoming a Mum; of never really NOT feeling exhausted. Your every ounce of energy is used up in caring for someone else, leaving you feeling with little left for anyone else, or least of all yourself. Overwhelm, lack of sparkle, hyper vigilance…sound familiar?
I’ve already bought two friends copies of this book, encouraged many others to do the same, and I think this book is frankly something which should be handed out to new Mums in their bounty packs.
SATURDAY NIGHT | When did life become so rock and roll?! When you’ve been up since 4am there’s no point scoring for being in bed after nine p.m 😂 . . Pssst. If interested my Jord wood watch review up the blog now including discount code giveaway (link in insta bio). . #thesupermummyth #jord #jordwoodwatches #frankie35 #woodwatch #woodwatches #myjord #giveaway #linkinbio #ad . . . . . . . #coolmumclub #thismamaloves #pinklinker #happylittlebuttons #rememberingthesedays #ukparentbloggers #snaphappybritmums #pinklinker #tribalchat #lionessmama #livingfearlesslyauthentic #mummyshot
With so much reassurance, practical advice and the tools to help you find peace with your parenting style, The Super Mum Myth is well worth a read, and a deserving title to sit amongst the top sellers of parenting books for 2018.
You deserve a copy.
Together with Anya, I’m offering one of you the chance to win a copy of The Supermum Myth. The giveaway runs until January 2018, and this could be the perfect way to grab hold of the new year with both hands….leaving that Supermum Myth in the past where it belongs.
You can enter via the rafflecopter on my GIVEAWAYS page HERE