It’s something I read time and time again in various blog posts – how the cathartic process of writing about your problems can actually make them a little less heavy in your shoulders.
So I’m going to give this a try. Life as as a stay at home Mum can be idyllic, sometimes, but there is definitely a dark cloud that’s been hanging around for far too long, casting a shadow on the sunshine and rainbows of my days.
I’ve tried too many times to ignore it, but it just gets worse. In fact, it gets bigger and bigger, and I know it’s getting to the point I can’t carry it around with me anymore.
After all, closing the door on something isn’t going to deal with it – it’s just there, lingering until someone opens that door once more, exposing the mountain that’s been building and weighing heavily on my mind. I know I’m probably not alone here – I think many of you will share this same exact issue, and understand. I’m hoping that together we can rise above it and make it go away permanently…although I’m not even sure that’s possible.
I’ve had this issue since I left home at eighteen, and whilst I managed for a long time, it got worse when my husband moved in, and each new child sent it spiralling out of control for a while. In all honesty, now as a family of four, it’s the worst it’s ever been. It never really goes away – I can sometimes forget about it for a matter of hours or so, but then it’ll hit me in the face, often at the end of the day when it just can’t be contained any more. It’s a constant background noise to my life – the whirring around and around never seeming to stop. I look back at my own Mother and wonder how she coped, knowing now in hindsight that she was inflicted with the same burden.
I’ve spoken to my husband about it, but he doesn’t seem to understand the scale of the problem. My children are blissfully unaware and the only person who seems to understand is my support network of Mums. But they can’t help, they have their own battles to fight.
So if blogging is therapy, and talking about a problem helps it to disappear, then it’s worth a try…
Or maybe I just need to outsource my laundry.