Instamum: 12 ‘Mummy Blogger’ myths dispelled

Having disappeared down a rabbit warren of negativity amidst the whole ‘Instamum’ Mumsnet debate last week, I’m feeling the need to defend not just my own personal choice, but the choice of many other women (and men, for the record) carving a flexible career out of blogging.

  1. We are ‘Mummy Bloggers’. Okay, this one may be a personal bugbear, but only two people call me Mummy, and they’re my two young daughters. For the record, I consider myself a parenting and lifestyle blogger, and would never refer to my job as ‘Mummy blogger’ which I find in all honesty, a little bit patronising. Mum blogger, not so bad. Is that just me? I mean, Dad bloggers don’t tend to be called Daddy bloggers? Why did we need the extra ‘my’ on our label? Grrr.
  2. We all want to be famous. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I’m pretty sure that a LOT of bloggers don’t want to be famous. I certainly, categorically cannot think of anything worse. Whilst the big guns seem to be hobnobbing about hotels and glam events, for the most part A LOT of us are too busy doing dull shiz like the school run / after school swimming lessons in suburbia, and in PJ’s by 8pm. Awkward when the neighbours call round to get a form signed. To be honest, most of us just like the feeling of solidarity that comes through finding a shared community of other hopeless parents.
  3. We are all outrageously extrovert. To be fair, there is no doubt that I am an extrovert, and always have been, way before I was a blogger…HOWEVER I have come across many other bloggers in my experience over the last few years who absolutely are not – and it doesn’t make them any more relevant or hard hitting as a reporter from the front line of parenting.
  4. We are freeloaders. It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again…the review of a relevant product, taking time and energy to review, photograph, edit, write, publish and promote is far from free. Time is money people…ain’t nothing a freebie in the blogging world.
  5. We are untrustworthy. Did we #ad as we should have? Did we disclose in the right place? Did we really squeal in delight over that new and delicious toddler snack? Don’t you know ‘all opinions are our own’? I speak from experience that if a product is total rubbish, it’s not being promoted on my site…and I know MOST other bloggers pride themselves on the same principles. We are all learning all the time and trying to keep up with best practice, it’s important to us to trade ethically.
  6. We are all rich. Ha ha, if only.
  7. We don’t care about our children’s privacy. Of course we do – even the ones who share, share, share. We are parents with our kids best interests at heart and as such will have considered and justified this set up a thousand times over. We all have or boundaries and as parents, we have made a decision that’s best for our family based on what we are comfortable with. For some that’s no names, some no faces, some no limits at all.
  8. We are sell outs. Anyone who questions a person’s decision to monetise their blog is probably in a whole other place than the person who has chosen to accept financial reward for possibly years of hard graft. Blogging and sponsorship arrangements are essentially authentic marketing platforms – just like the ads on your TV and in your magazine. Most bloggers have standards and where they choose to set them is their decision – no likey? No lighty… move on and hope for a post you like tomorrow. If you can forgive David Beckham for parading in a pair of designer boxers, then please forgive us for parading in the #gift perfect school run coat.
  9. We live perfect lives. Clearly not a reference to my blog (?!) however of course we all love to share the beautiful moments…the ones we managed to capture amidst the spilt milk and toddler tantrums. Whether we keep it  real with some truths in our microblog style captions, or whether we are just feeling the love…noone’s life is perfect, we are just sharing a little pretty part of it, or a little gritty part of it – however the mood may take us.
  10. We are all style icons standing in front of graffiti walls. Some have this thing locked down, but many, oh so many are muddling through in a faded unironed primark breton with a spag bol splatter stain on that we couldn’t get out.
  11. We ooze confidence. I don’t think there is a single blogger I know who hasn’t experienced doubts on hitting publish, and whether the whole things is just too weird. But ultimately, we all love what we do, enough to keep us hitting publish and to feel the love in connecting with all the good eggs out there.
  12. We are arseholes. There seem to be many people out there willing to spit a little hate into this already at times, rocky old world. In my experience, ‘Instamums’ are not those folk. Supportive, inspiring, funny, zany, uplifting, fierce are just some of the words I’d use to describe the lovely folk in my feed…the ‘Mummy Bloggers’ (argh) and their lesser known ‘Instadads ‘ too, that I follow and the life coaches in Mum-clothing that I aspire to on a daily basis.


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30 thoughts on “Instamum: 12 ‘Mummy Blogger’ myths dispelled

  1. Nicole Reply

    Well dispelled Sarah! It’s so sad that there is so much Mummy Blogger bashing these days (excuse the term but that’s what we are bashed up for). The parenting blogging community is so lovely and supportive of one another, and blogging has given so much happiness and self-worth and a little extra income to so many mums – why can’t the trolls just be more accepting?! Three cheers to us…

  2. pamsbakeandbabyblog Reply

    Love love love this! Voiced exactly what i feel and what i feel the need to justify daily! Great post #coolmumclub

  3. Wendy Reply

    Yes, yes and more yes! You have explained what being a blogger/instamum is like perfectly. Perhaps the daily fail should publish this to give the other side of the argument? Great post lovely xx #coolmumclub

  4. The Mummy Bubble Reply

    Amazing post! I was nodding along to every one of your points, I want as many people as possible to read this! It totally captures my feelings on this subject. Parenting bloggers are working our socks off to create content, review products and bring up our kids. We’re doing it for various reasons; whether it be to make a bit of extra cash or just because we love to write. Whatever the reason, why hate on women who have got off the bums and created something from scratch? Where has this assumption come from that it’s easy and we are just arrogant freeloaders making an easy, quick buck? To be honest, I wonder if part of it is jealousy. If only people understood how much work goes into a blog they might say “good for you, but it’s not my cup of tea”, rather than launching an utterly horrible tirade on Mumsnet. I’m going to share the f**k out of this post. #coolmumclub xx

  5. Sophie - wifemotherlife Reply

    Well said Sarah! As one of the self doubting, primarni too wearing, introvert mother blogger I thank you for this. X

  6. Donna (@bobsysmum) Reply

    Very well said! I totally agree that I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being famous. I want to do well, and I hope my recipes help others, but for the most part I’m just enjoying myself! Imagine all the attention of being famous, it must be awful! #coolmumclub

  7. Lisa - Little Orange Dog Reply

    Woo hoo! Absobloominglutely, spot on in every respect. #coolmumclub x

  8. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    I love this – I think there is so much tosh surrounding “mummy bloggers” at the moment on Instagram and everywhere…well said my #coolmumclub lady! xoxo

  9. beautybabyandme Reply

    Bloody well said chick! I was infuriated by this debate and you’ve summed up perfectly how we’re not all a bunch of freeloading idiots! I proud to be a parenting blogger – I won’t let any keyboard warriors take that away from me! x #coolmumclub

  10. mamagrace Reply

    I haven’t actually read any negative articles but I think it’s just something to write about and lazy journalism. If someone generalises I switch off. Blogs are cool and don’t need justifying. #coolmumclub

  11. craftcartwright Reply

    You hit so many nails on the head. Great post #coolmumclub

  12. Alice | Letters to my Daughter Reply

    Some people seem to relish and feed off negativity, but I think that says more about them than their targets. Well dispelled, thank you for fighting our corner! #coolmumclub

  13. ettieandme Reply

    Well said… this whole debate has got me thinking. I say dont knock it until you’ve tried it. Blogging is such a new industry its generally the people who dont understand it who have issue with it. Haters gonna hate, we just need to keep on doing what we enjoy #coolmumclub

  14. Munchkin Shenanigans Reply

    Great post! I tend to skip past these “discussions” on mumsnet,etc because I get so wound up!

  15. anywaytostayathome Reply

    Yes, yes, yes! I couldn’t agree with you more. Blogging is hard work. It’s draining. Nothing is free. I certainly do not want to be famous and when I go to an event and someone knows who I am, well then I actually just want the ground to open up and swallow me whole, even when the people who know who I am have worked with me for years and/or are looking at a guest list. #coolmumclub

  16. Aleena Brown Reply

    Imagine if you could sit in front of a PC (or an iPhone screen while rushing to nursery haha!) and have freebies pouring out and offers of trips here there and everywhere and not have to ANYTHING! Imagine getting paid £1000 to write “You should buy this really brightly coloured cereal best known for its astronomical sugar content. My kids love it. Yours will too.” It’s laughable what people think isn’t it?! #coolmumclub

  17. mebeingmummy Reply

    Woop woop! Yes to all said above I hate all the misconceptions that come with blogging. It is hard work, a true labour of love. Xx #coolmumclub

  18. Winnettes Reply

    Yes, Yes a million times yes!! This is brilliant and so true. I wish I knew where the bad rep has come from because I find far more support from Insta Mums or blogging Mums than I do anywhere else. I also agree with the title. Just because I am a Mummy and a blogger, does not make me a mummy blogger. #coolmumclub

  19. Helen Reply

    What a shame that they’ve come to that conclusion, I think the blogger community is extremely supportive and real on the whole! I certainly am not rich or confident and blogging is a way I get to have my say when I otherwise might not speak up. If only they actually read our blogs and not just take face value from our photos they would see we are all the same trying to figure out life! #coolmumclub

  20. Mum in Brum Reply

    I have so much to say on this subject, but honestly you’ve said it all for me! I think it all just comes down to a complete lack of understanding, ignorance and the fact that they probably haven’t even read what the majority of us are posting. It’s a shame that women can’t just support each other in their efforts – but you’re right the blogging community is so supportive, which is why we love it so x #coolmumclub

  21. thesingleswan Reply

    It is bonkers isn’t it, the number of ridiculous myths there are about bloggers out there. I absolutely hate the term Mummy blogger. As if I don’t have any other identity or personality. Grrr. Oh, and I am definitely an introvert. Pen x #coolmumclub

  22. Alana - Burnished Chaos Reply

    Love this and totally agree with every point. I’m massively introverted, had zero confidence at all till I started my blog, my house is a shit tip, my kids drive me up the wall on a daily basis and if we had to live on my blog income we’d be homeless and starving . Blogging has given me back ‘me’ when I felt like I was disappearing completely and has put me in daily contact with a supportive group of like minded people. I have nothing but love and admiration for this community x

  23. Nicola Reply

    This stuff drives me crazy! If I was a model (ha ha ha!) or actress in a TV commercial peddling a product that would, I guess be ok, but because I am promoting something on my own personal website then it’s not ok?? I had not seen the mums net feed until just now, and I’m kind of glad I hadn’t as I would’ve had something to say! #coolmumclub

  24. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... Reply

    I think I agreed with every single word you have written here! Hate being called a ‘mummy’ blogger and there are so many stereotypes 🙁 #coolmumclub

  25. Helena “TheQueenofCollage” TheQueenofCollage Reply

    It’s sad that people continue to attack bloggers via their words. I agree with your points. #coolmumclub

  26. Mrs Mummy Harris Reply

    I am all over this! love it!!!! The effort to go into a review is crazy and non-bloggers just dont get it! #coolmumclub

  27. Lucy At Home Reply

    Love this! You are spot on. I love your point that if people are willing to accept advertising on their TV, they should allow bloggers to advertise too – absolutely! We can’t keep entertaining people with our content for free – we all have families to care for.

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

  28. Louise Reply

    Love this – so very true. There are lots of myths around “mummy bloggers” and the vast majority of them are completely untrue. Most bloggers I know are lovely people, work incredibly hard for those “freebies” and consider very carefully how much they share online about their lives. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub

  29. Emma T Reply

    Fab post. The whole extrovert thing has totally passed me by. In my experience most bloggers are introverts, or introverted extroverts (supposedly that is a thing – possibly me, because I love to work in an office and be around people and buzz, but am quite shy and happy with my own company as well). I think most non-bloggers just don’t understand it (and probably don’t even know even bloggers. Just lots of judgements going on.

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