The unreasonable demands of parenting

Do as I say, not as I do.

That pretty much sums up my parenting technique lately. Must be pretty confusing for those little minds, when you think about it. Spending all day watching us doing  a lot of preaching, but not a lot of practicing.

There is just so much that we (I) expect them to do, which frankly, I wouldn’t expect myself or any sane adult to do…In fact, us parents can, at times, be big giant hypocrites to those little peeps.

For example…

  1. Pass me the iPad ( or iPooter as it’s called in the G-unit). Yes, you have had far too much time playing with the Peppa Pig app. And Mummy hasn’t been able to check her blog stats for almost twenty minutes.
  2. No, you cannot have crisps for lunch again today. It’s not good to have them every day (as Mummy attempts to disguise a rustle in the cupboard and sucks on Hula Hoops silently resisting the urge to crunch. Yes, you have done it, you know you have).
  3. GO. TO. SLEEP. I know you aren’t tired, but it’s bedtime! Says Mummy, who lay awake half the night thinking about shopping lists, birthday plans, blog goals, insert other random topic here.
  4. We are leaving the house, which means you have to have a wee. Okay but please just TRY and go. You think you don’t need to go because you already went 5 minutes ago but Mummy really wants us all to be 100% sure.
  5. Try and eat a bit more please…just three more bites. And one for luck. I know you’re full, but Mummy is a feeder…I know Mummy hasn’t had dinner yet…I’ll eat later with Daddy…when I’m hungrier.
  6. That’s enough junk on telly for one day. Let’s go and do something fun and wholesome. (Hmmm how long till bedtime, a new series of Made In Chelsea / TOWIE / I’m a Celeb / X factor starts tonight).
  7. No squash honey, water is much better for you (As Mummy opens a chilled can of diet coke).
  8. No you can’t choose to wear that party dress to nursery…because Mummy chose you this Nursery outfit which is better.
  9. Come on, cheer up grumpy. It’s not nice to be in such a bad mood. (No explanation necessary).
  10. Please eat that yummy dinner of fishy slop Mummy made for you. It’s so good for you.  No, it isn’t yukky, it’s delicious. And all the nice green veggies too. Ours? It’s Friday sweetie, we’re getting an Indian. You wouldn’t like it.

Yep, maybe tomorrow I’ll try and see the world through their eyes a bit more.

Maybe.

x MMT

 

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51 thoughts on “The unreasonable demands of parenting

  1. Life Love and Dirty Dishes Reply

    Brilliant. So very true. #FartGlitter

  2. sisterk1n Reply

    So true. Some days leading by example is just too tough. #fartglitter

  3. Anna Brophy Reply

    Guilty as charged!! I often think this as I beg and plead and urge them to go to sleep at night. As I am ready (desperate) for a break, I get frustrated that they don’t immediately flake out on their pillows. Regularly have to take a deep breath and try to do the ‘understanding’ mummy thing… #FartGlitter

  4. rhymingwithwine Reply

    …. I might possibly, just on occasion, have eaten chocolate biscuits in the bathroom whilst giving the tots a rice cake. I absolutely hear you on this!

    Brilliant xx
    #fartglitter

    1. rhymingwithwine Reply

      Just popping back again through #coolmumclub.
      Thank you for hosting hon x

  5. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) Reply

    Oh yes, have you been spying on us? Loved this, so true to life with a blogger mummy especially the iPad stealing x

  6. Coombe Mill Reply

    Great post, I love the one about we’re off for an Indian! #marvmondays

  7. mummyit'sok (@mummyitsok) Reply

    Brill! this is totally how parenting works best #marvmondays

  8. kerryann Reply

    Oh dear, lol, the guilt stacks up even further! It really is for their own good…it is…really! #fartglitter

  9. Mama Reply

    This feels like me. My tot can’t be better than me if he follows my bad habits, can he?
    #fartglitter

  10. This Mum's Life Reply

    Yes, we are all guilty of some of these! I’m really bad with Go To Sleep!! My boys are soooo full on (they refuse to play by themselves, at home or at playgroups etc) so I am chief entertainment officer from 6-6!! And by that time I’m so desperate for a minute to myself, that I want them to be asleep NOW! Just tripping over my own feet to get to my wine! I do try to be mindful of double standards, but it is hard!!
    #fartglitter

  11. Sarah (@mummybabylife) Reply

    This is so true! #FartGlitter

  12. moderatemum Reply

    Ha ha! Imight spend a day living like my son lives. I’m sure I’d throw in the towel at the first rice cake! #fartglitter

  13. Kaye Reply

    This is hilarious! I quite often think whilst telling my toddler to do things that those rules just don’t apply to me, how hypocritical. No more sweets, they’re bad for you! (Scoffs about 100 when they’re in bed).. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    1. MMT Reply

      Definitely with you on sweets! Long car journeys are the worst because my side pocket of the car will be full of sweet bags but they are only allowed a couple. Whoops…bad mum 😉

  14. Robyn Reply

    Hehe, all funny because it’s true! Especially the last point – I’m always giving my kid stuff to eat that I don’t think is especially appealing (at least I’m not tempted to eat his leftovers!)

  15. Educating Roversi Reply

    Ha ha ha ha! So true! Every single one I have done! #FartGlitter

  16. min1980 Reply

    Yep, I’ve done most of these. “Cake? Don’t mind if I do. Oh no, you wouldn’t like that. Not at all. Not for babies.” Frankly I dread him being old enough to question my use of the laptop while he has to go to bed, right next to me.

  17. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    Yes, I think I have done all the above at one time or another (every day…) when my boys were little. As they get a little older the next one will be ‘go outside and get some proper exercise instead of being glued to the telly all day’ mummy is too…err…..busy to come out with you!! #bestandworst

    1. MMT Reply

      Ha ha. Ooh watching telly alone. Imagine that 🙂 x

  18. Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) Reply

    This made me giggle. I bet when they have kids they will do exactly the same thing!! I’m quite lucky my girlie doesn’t like fizzy drinks (we have let her sip them) so Diet Coke is all good!! Also the sleep thing soooo true! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  19. jeremy@thirstydaddy Reply

    my daughter still can’t understand why she can’t wear a sundress everyday. I don’t know what the temp was in the celsious that you use over there, but its frigging cold here

    1. MMT Reply

      Minus three on the school run today!!! X

  20. Becky Pink Reply

    This is ringing a lot of bells! Cupboard scoffing crisps and chocolate especially! xx #coolmumclub

  21. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    Haha I was just thinking the other day day we are the biggest hypocrites ever aren’t we! So true – all of it my awesome #coolmumclub partner in crime x

  22. Mum in Brum Reply

    Brilliant and so true! At least mine’s too young to understand at the moment, but she already looks pretty interested in my crisps whilst she’s munching on a pear – think I’m definitely going to be hiding in the kitchen soon! #coolmumclub xx

  23. crummymummy1 Reply

    Yes to all of these! I feel like I’m in a constant battle of do as I say not as I do with BB at the moment! #coolmumclub

  24. mummyinatutu Reply

    totally with you!
    #coolmumclub

  25. dadbloguk Reply

    You take the rough with the smooth and sometimes the kids do simply need to do as they’re told. Getting ’em to do it, mind, is another matter altogether. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub

  26. Helen Reply

    Ha ha ha ha ah ……. This IS me. Hoola hoops are my fave, but I would have to be sponsored not to crunch. My eldest is about to outsmart me though. No more pulling the wool over his eyes, damn it. Great post x #coolmumclub

  27. Busy Working Mummy Reply

    Oh my gosh yes haha can so relate to this. Last night I even ended up eating his milky bar buttons with my head in the fridge (hiding) after saying he couldn’t have any more….. #coolmumclub x

  28. Unhinged Mummy (aka Janine Woods) Reply

    I think we all do this I’m guilty of screaming “stop screaming” at my three year old. Oh the irony but it drIves me up the fricking wall!

    #coolmumclub 🙂

  29. nightwisprav3n Reply

    Oh my, yes! I definitely feel like a hypocrite sometimes but my 9 year old is constantly calling me out on it. To say he’s EXACTLY LIKE ME, is an understatement! Whenever I start to do something that is similar to what I just told him not to do, he grills me! Sleeping is the number one in my house. “Mommy, why do I have to go to sleep while you get to stay up? That’s not fair!” to which I say, “Because I’m the mom, that’s why. Now go to bed!” Great list! #coolmumclub

  30. Natalie @KidGearUK Reply

    Oh I’m guilty of this! Though not so much the iPad…I actually got to use it yesterday and my eldest was surprised, only time I ever touch the thing lately is to pass it to one of my kids for playing games whilst I’m left squinting at emails on my phone. #coolmumclub

  31. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) Reply

    So funny and so very true! I can certainly relate to hiding in the kitchen and trying not to crunch on Hula Hoops and yes, I have also been guilty of giving the girls cups of water and then sitting down with a glass of Coke! Jessica once handed hubby his bottle of Irn-Bru and said “here’s your Daddy water” which made me laugh – thankfully she won’t drink anything other than water and Sophie is mostly oblivious to it all! Brilliant post 🙂

  32. Becky, Cuddle Fairy Reply

    lol each point is so true & made me laugh. I often sneak something nice when the kids aren’t looking, but they get treats too. It’s hard isn’t it? My daughter is in a not eating phase, she goes through them from time to time. She’d have happily eat chocolate or crisps of course but real food takes a lot of persuasion. Thanks so much for hosting #coolmumclub

  33. rainbowsR2beautiful (@rainbowsaretoo) Reply

    Yes, yes, yes!

  34. Kate Tunstall, Refined Prose Reply

    Haha, the perks of being a parent – it will be their turn in 20 years! X

  35. lifeofaglasgowgirl (@ofaglasgowgirl) Reply

    This is so true, all of it! I am extremely guilty of this a lot of the time. Great post! #coolmumclub

    Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

  36. Rebecca | AAUBlog Reply

    yep, love this! all so true!

  37. Someone's Mum Reply

    Haha! The squash vs. cool can of diet coke (I actually started drooling as I read it) is my life writ large 😉 Love this post. So true #coolmumclub

  38. Mrs Tubbs Reply

    I am not that parent … Much! So funny!

  39. Silly Mummy Reply

    Haha – hilarious! So true! I do many of these. #coolmumclub

  40. butterflymum83 Reply

    Brilliant, love this perspective lol! #coolmumclub

  41. occupation:(m)other Reply

    Ahhh sweet, sounds like you are pretty in tune with their perspective already! Clever post, I really enjoyed it #coolmumclub

  42. newmummyblogcom Reply

    Hahaha brilliant mrs! You hit the nail on the head 🙂 #coolmumclub

  43. nicolekkennedy Reply

    So true! I’ve been doing the hula hoop thing with a family sized dairy milk all week (“we’ll just have 1 square each”, walks back to cupboard squashing another 4 squares in mouth)! xx

  44. nicolekkennedy Reply

    Oops forgot #coolmumclub ! Thanks for hosting xx

  45. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    Coming back from #abitofeverything. Thanks for linking xx

  46. Bee Reply

    brilliant piece!! This is so me – esp the rustling of the chip packet. so glad to know I’m not the only one!

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