Be here now

This post originally featured on MeetOtherMums.com.

As an unemployed parent, stay at home Mum, primary caregiver….whatever you want to call it, the one question I find myself answering over and over again is ‘What are you going to do about work?’.

It’s not that I blame them – it’s a fair question. One that I ask myself all the time. I have set myself many markers in the sand as the ‘perfect time’ to reassess my career options, and consider returning to the working Mum version of me that I never envisaged leaving behind.

And yet, as each marker approaches, and passes me by, the time just doesn’t feel right.

This summer felt pretty monumental, as the pre-school days slipped away with our first daughter preparing to start primary school. Maybe it has something to do with turning 35, or seeing my own elderly relatives health deteriorate, or maybe this stage would always come.

You see, what I have realised is that time spent today, worrying about tomorrow, is time wasted. These days are the time of my life, the days I will look back on, as my Grandmother has to me on her hospital bed. The good days and the bad, they are all so precious and not to be taken for granted.

Our baby days are fading, and these last stages of dependency from our youngest will pass by in a flash too. Don’t get me wrong, I pine for the day she’ll sleep all night and eat a square meal without a spot of bungee jumping from the high chair. But, I’m all too aware there will be a day I’ll be back behind a desk, stressed over work, and these moments will be the golden summers of my past.

I have thrown myself back into a healthy mindset – not to squeeze into a pair of size 8 jeans, or to achieve an unattainable flat stomach post two kids. It’s all about wanting to be in the best shape I can, in order to be around for my girls. Hopefully, to be able to offer them some support and guidance should they find themselves to be muddling through motherhood.

The Gallagher brothers were onto something, something maybe I only just appreciate, decades later. I cannot predict the future, but I can be here now. Focused, engaged, present, happy. Doing the most important job I’ll ever do.

x MMT

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27 thoughts on “Be here now

  1. Ursula (AKA Mumbelievable) Reply

    I absolutely love this post. It’s such an important message and a really timely reminder for me today. Xxxx

  2. Ashley Reply

    I love this! I went back to work 6 weeks after each baby – but I’m in the US so it’s fairly standard unless you transition to a full time stay at home mommy. I’m always so torn. I Love my job and adult interaction, but I know I’m missing so much…I just don’t know if I would actually be a good full time at home mom… #coolmumclub

  3. beautybabyandme Reply

    Love this. It’s something I’ve actually noticed my husband is super aware of now; our health for the sake of Joshs future. As you say, being in the best shape possible for our childrens sake is far more important than a flat stomach! xx #coolmumclub

  4. Back With A Bump Reply

    I can totally relate to this as am due back to work in January and have very mixed feelings over it. #coolmumclub

  5. Something About Baby Reply

    So true, everything you said had me nodding along. I’m constantly worrying about the future – where we’ll live, when will we have more children, how will my job fit around the kids. I need to worrying and start enjoying the now, for soon it will be in the past and I’ll regret not enjoying it #coolmumclub

  6. Chilli Regina Reply

    Your post spoke right to my heart. I often catch myself thinking about the future with a lot of questions and should I and would I and could I…But you’re right, today is wasted when thinking and worrying about tomorrow. So, I am learning constantly, to be in the moment, here an dnow. And when I am, everything seems so much easier. Have you noticed that?;)
    #coolmumclub

  7. Sunita Reply

    This is such a good post. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way as mamas. It’s hard juggling so many worries. Wise words about focussing on each day counting. We learn lots from the tough days too. You’re so right with your words. I have a big change coming up soon and I hope I don’t feel lots of mummy guilt as I explore different things. #coolmumclub

  8. ljdove23 Reply

    I LOVE this post and I feel exactly the same way. We will never get this time back with our children and it’s so important to enjoy the here and now. We have had a horrific week with news of two loved ones being diagnosed with terminal cancer, and it has been a huge wake up call for us to live our lives to the fullest. I wasted far too much time worrying about things out of my control or about my appearance or my size, this post is so lovely for reminding me that none of those things really matter. #coolmumclub

  9. Wendy Reply

    Love this post. I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. Part of me worries about my future career and if I’ll ever have one but then I know this time at home with my boy is precious and I don’t want to give it up to do a job I probably don’t even like.xx #coolmumclub

  10. Talya Reply

    Love this – I agree there is nothing more important in life than to simply be here now and it’s something that many of us struggle with. #coolmunclub loving xxxx

  11. thetaleofmummyhood Reply

    This post really made me think. Very nicely put.

    #coolmumclub

  12. Lucy At Home Reply

    Thank you so much for this. I’ve also set markers for when I might go back to “work” but as they’re fast approaching, I’m worried that I’m just not ready yet, and neither are my girls. Thank you for saying that you let your markers pass you by #CoolMumClub

  13. alifeinpracticeblog.com Reply

    I love this post, but unfortunately had no choice financially to go back. however i look at it this way: I could stay at home, but then we’d be living pay check to pay check with the aid of benefits and could not afford savings or holidays. Going back to work, just part time (20 hrs/3 days) per week is enough to make sure we are financially stable and can afford to put money in savings and have at least one family holiday per year. The difference for us is substantial enough to be worth it. x #stayclassymama

  14. alifeinpracticeblog.com Reply

    Whoops! I have too many linkys on a Thursday! I meant #coolmumclub haha

  15. Mess and merlot Reply

    My youngest started her second year of ‘big school’ in September and I STILL don’t feel like the time is right to go back to work! I never considered my health much pre-kids what with being young and invincible but now I’m so aware of it. It’s also brought an awareness of all the stuff that really just isn’t important at all (e.g Size 8 jeans!). Lovely post, I think a lot of parents will relate to this. x #coolmumclob

  16. Peachy Reply

    I absolutely agree about living in the moment. Having Peachy has really driven that point home for me. It’s so easy to worry about the future and long for the past. But the present is here right now. We should enjoy it before it becomes the past that we long for. #coolmumclub

  17. Annette Reply

    I love this. I agree it’s so important to stay in the present and just enjoy all the moments you have. I have a little one due to start school next year, I don’t know where the time goes. #CoolMumClub

  18. twolittlepiggles Reply

    Love this. I have been struggling in my head with the whole going back to work thing second time round, I didn’t enjoy my time first time this time I feel like an old pro and I have a longing to be there for my eldest. It’s surprised me that it’s him I see as vulnerable now as he progresses towards school and I know my little monkey will be fine – guess it’s just because I have done it before. Thanks for the post loved it #coolmumclub

  19. imummyblog Reply

    Really love this post. Im always saying whats the point in worrying about the future? Its good to plan a little bit. But enjoy the here and now – time goes by too fast, we can’t get these years back with our babies. And tomorrow isn’t promised. Thanks for sharing x #coolmumclub

  20. tootingmama Reply

    So true all we have is now. I’m living in France, resigned from my job, am a stay at home mum. I’ve got child just about to start senior school (yup gulp) and I know when that starts they are really on their way to growing up. This time is giving me head space to really appreciate my little ones, and they won’t be little for much longer! I so agree live in the present, live for now, this is all we have. Fab post!

  21. Angela Watling Reply

    Wonderful post! Think this a brilliant mindset to have. I completely agree that, whilst it’s good to keep the future in mind, you need to live in the present and enjoy it. You don’t know what will happen! #CoolMumClub

  22. Harriet Reply

    I’m currently going nuts over what to do myself. I’m a single mum, working full time. However financially I’d be about the same if I were to cut down to 4 days a week and take my little man out of nursery that day. I fear I’ll wake up one day as the mother to a teenager, having spent his younger years in an office somewhere. It’s exhausting worrying about it and fretting it away. #coolmumclub

  23. Rhyming with Wine Reply

    You’ve managed to capture a niggling feeling that I constantly have going on in the back of my mind. That feeling that these are the best times, and that they are slipping away. I get so vexed with myself for not making more of them, but then I think that we are all only human and we all find things to complain about whatever our circumstances. It’s all relative I suppose. I’m sure that when the kids are older we will be able to enjoy the new adventures that come hand in hand with having older and more independent children too. Beautifully written lovely xx #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      It’s been niggling on me more and more lately! Time to just let it go, and enjoy today 🙂 xx

  24. tammymum Reply

    I love this, it is so so spot on. I have the same approach to health for the same reasons, I want to be fit and active and there for my children, to enjoy paying with them when they’re young but still be there when theyre older. Work is a cloud looming over my head too that is very much unknown and a worry at times, but you are right – these are the days to enjoy, even if you don’t always enjoy every part of the day! #coolmumclub

  25. Helena Reply

    It’s true we need to savour every inch before it’s too late. #coolmumclub

  26. Jaylan - Diapers at Dawn Reply

    Great post to remind us that time does literally fly by and to enjoy every second of it x #coolmumclub

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