#coolmumclub: Meet the Members…This Mums Life

Back again for another (#FF) #coolmumclub; Meet the Members. Week 4, already…Where did that go? I’m thrilled to introduce you all to Lucy…the comic genius behind the blog ‘This Mums Life’. I fell in love with Lucy’s writing after we bonded over dummy dramas (Living with a dummy addict). The rest is history. A regular to Thursdays #coolmumclub Linky, be sure to single out Lucys posts if you’re looking for a light hearted read about a Mum who dreams of soft plays with in built wine bars. I know…sold already. Check out This Mums Life Blog here. And be sure to give her a follow on twitter if you aren’t already here. Word on the street is she can also be found on facebook here (what would I know about that?!). 

Over to you Lucy

x MMT
Hi, I’m Lucy,

…the frazzled mum behind This Mum’s Life, powered by wine, cheese, and more wine. I can usually be found wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing for a week, attempting to keep standards up by at least changing my granny pants daily (hunting various radiators for said granny pants in the process of drying/moaning they’re all in the wash.) I used to be able to wear nice pants (or knickers!) but since my behind grew to Vesuvius proportions following the birth of my two children, it will actually eat any knickers smaller than a large tent, so granny comfort it is! Regular haunts include soft play, toddler groups, my mums house, and coffee shops. In the majority of soft plays, I will be found rocking in the corner, dreaming of running my own soft play, which offers a complimentary glass of wine on entry, with free top ups every time your child has a tantrum.

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I live in Bristol, a city I have a total and utter love affair with. I love it so much it’s like I’m seeing it behind my husband’s back. What’s not to love about shutting down a major road and having a giant water slide run from top to bottom, just for the hell of it, and finding a giant Shaun The Sheep dressed as Isambard Kingdom Brunel, at the end of your road? I could peruse the diversity of Gloucester Road, and Stokes croft shops for days on end… without my double buggy and energetic tiny humans!! Which brings me to…

I am a Stay At Home Mum to my two boys, the eldest, Deep Thinker, born in December 2012, and the youngest, Mini Assassin, born in March 2014. There is just over 14 months between them. A common FAQ surrounding this age gap is Was It Planned? So for anyone who may be wondering, yes! It was planned! As soon as one baby was out, I felt the overwhelming need to ‘get it out of the way quickly’ and have another one, I was blessed that it worked out for me that way, and I’m pleased as punch that it did, because I know many people who’ve planned the same thing, and it hasn’t worked out.

From as soon as I could walk, my dream was to be a dancer, and as the daughter of an ex musical theatre dancer, no less was expected of me! But of course, one of life’s biggest lessons is about the best laid plans and all that… So I went from training to be a dancer for 30 hours a week, having learnt and sometimes competed in ballet, tap, modern, jazz, contemporary, Latin-American, and ballroom dance, to becoming a staff nurse… Injury, the constant quest to be thin, (it’s a cut throat world of if you’re not skinny, you’re out on your ear,) and a lack of confidence, lead me away from the path I always thought I’d take, and into a world of inspiring people, battling chronic debilitating, and often terminal illnesses, eccentric older people with amazing stories to tell, and the biggest learning curve of life lessons a person can ever be given. When Deep Thinker arrived, the possibility of returning to work was taken away from me because it was impossible to do shift work with the constraints of nursery hours, and my salary wouldn’t have covered the cost anyway. Besides, deep down, I’d always thought being a Stay At Home Mum was really where I wanted to be, and where I’d be happiest…

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But of course, I should’ve guessed, there’s always a curve ball…! In the first six months of Deep Thinker’s life, I struggled, like I never imagined I’d struggle. As a raging insomniac, and shift worker, I could cope with the tiredness, but I couldn’t cope with the nervous energy I had from the anxiety of being responsible for this tiny life. While my friends were relishing the opportunity to sit at home in their pyjamas, swapping their babies from boob to boob, I was terrified of being in the house, and missed the structure of a working day. So most days, I was out of the house by 9, and didn’t come back until late afternoon. I felt so unlike myself that I was desperate to grab hold of something that would make me feel normal. My biggest regret is that anxiety caused me to miss out on spending that amazing chill time with Deep Thinker on my chest, while I watched box sets. I also suffered an intense period of PND after Mini Assassin was born, which is now only levelled with medication.

I’ve found being a SAHM to be a Jekyll and Hyde journey of extremes. One minute filled with so much love for my children, I could actually eat them, and one minute wanting to bang my head against a wall and scream into a pillow. I’ve been surrounded by new friends and mums, yet lonely. I’ve learnt so much about myself, yet I often feel lost, like I don’t know who I am. Having children is a huge privilege, and so is being a SAHM, but it’s not quite the romantic journey I thought it’d be.

So, This Mum’s Life was born from those feelings, the long hours I spent out with Deep Thinker, walking him around in the pushchair to pass time.

I’d think in my head how I would relay my motherhood stories and things I was feeling, to other people. Then I started thinking maybe I would blog about it, and started a journal (well, I always say ‘journal,’ what it really was, was notes I scribbled onto scraps of paper I found lying around, and the ‘notes’ section of my iPhone.) It was only three months ago that I found the courage to realise the dream, and start the blog.

There’s so much I want to get from it. I want to connect with others who have had similar experiences. I thought maybe my experiences could help others going through the same things, and help them feel normal.

I wanted catharsis, to rid my head of all the thoughts crammed into it. I wanted something for me, because my whole day is about the boys, and putting their every need before my own. They are fulfilled in every possible way, to the best of my (sometimes haphazard) ability, and my needs are not. I know that comes with being a mum, but I love this outlet, which provides me with a little therapy, and a way to review the things that happen to me with a dose of humour, and sprinkles of laughter. It’s This Mum’s Life because it’s my little dose of narcissism in a world where I’m largely forgotten. And I get to write, something I’m ridiculously passionate about. My plans for the blog are to keep expanding it, I’m adding a ‘fail of the week’ page, for all the hilarious situations I find myself in. I’m also adding a ‘what I’m watching this week’ page, to feed my Netflix and boxset addiction by being able to talk about it too! I want to improve my writing and be the best I can possibly be. Blogging has given me a new lease of life, and even though my journey is just starting, I’m loving it, and absolutely made up to be part of the Cool Mum Club! Thank you so much MMT for featuring me!

One random fact before I sign off: I used to dance in a performance burlesque troupe! I performed until 7 months pregnant, and returned when DT was 3 months…! I’m currently on a break from the troupe, due to baby weight not looking good in hot pants and corsets issues…! Due to wine and cheese consumption, this situation may or may not be rectified!

xoxo            

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63 thoughts on “#coolmumclub: Meet the Members…This Mums Life

  1. This Mum's Life Reply

    Wow Sarah! Thanks for the fabulous introduction!! Never in my life have I been described as a comic genius, it’s a title I might now use after my name if I may? A bit like when you put your qualifications after your name for very serious things like research papers etc, I might start routinely signing my name and following it with ‘comic genius’!!!!!! I will take a dip back into the other more serious topics I’ve blogged about previously, such as anxiety/PND, uneccessary pressures on new mums, sometime in the future, but the comedy element is keeping me sane at the moment, while my 2 little monkeys are being particularly demanding!
    Thanks so much for featuring me, I really am made up to be part of the #coolmumclub, you have a fab blog, and a fab linky, and are on my list of blogger heroes!

  2. mummuddlingthrough Reply

    My pleasure Lucy. It’s a great intro to your blog – which I notice is looking rather lovely and new! I’m jealous! xxx

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Thanks! Glad you like it, a friend did the design and reshuffle for me! Computer illiterate over here…! x

  3. Robyn Reply

    This was a great read, Lucy! So interesting to hear about your behind-the-sense and what prompted you to start blogging. I love your chatty, funny style – off to check out This Mum’s Life now, I’m sure I’m going to love it 🙂

  4. This Mum's Life Reply

    Thanks Robyn!! I’m glad you find it ‘chatty,’ I wanted it to sound informal, like I was sitting down, chatting to friends about motherhood! I’m getting something right…?! I hope you like it if you read more.
    Xx

  5. Mrs Tubbs Reply

    Fantastic introduction! It’s always interesting to meet the person behind the blog

  6. […] #coolmumclub: Meet the members…This Mum’s Life   Mum Muddling Through…Primary sc... motherhoodtherealdeal.com/2015/12/09/welcome-to-the-coolmumclub-week-10
  7. This Mum's Life Reply

    Thanks Mrs Tubbs!

  8. Life Love and Dirty Dishes Reply

    I discovered Lucy’s blog a few weeks ago and I’m hooked. Brilliantly funny and real. #coolumsclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      It really does make me happy that you like the blog, and find it funny! I still can’t believe people do find it funny, I thought maybe I’d be the only one chuckling-in my head…! x

  9. This Mum's Life Reply

    I’m so glad you like it!! Xx

  10. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) Reply

    Loved reading this introduction to you and your blog and your style of writing makes me feel like you are sitting next to me on the sofa, chatting away with a glass of wine in hand (and if you ever decide to open that soft play with wine given whenever your child has a tantrum, I’ll be there!) So interesting to read more about you and how you went from dancing to nursing to becoming a SAHM. The difficulties with organising childcare around shifts are part of the reason why I never returned to midwifery after having children and like you, whilst I love being a SAHM and am thankful to be able to do it, the description of it being a Jekyll and Hyde journey of extremes is one I can certainly identify with. Glad to hear that your PND is much better thanks to meds and looking forward to reading more of your blog 🙂

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      I’m glad that there was so much you could identify with! I always hoped I’d sound like a ‘friend’ rather than a person on a screen! I think the soft play idea definitely needs looking into further…!

  11. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    Ah so nice to get to know Lucy better, one of my fave bloggers of late. Loving this series co-hostess extraordinaire! xx #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      I really enjoyed writing for this series, and I’ve loved reading the other posts! Sooooo glad you like my blog! x

  12. Kyles Reply

    Sarah, as always, thank you for giving us the opportunity to have a little snippet of insight into another blogger’s backstory. It’s fascinating. Lucy, this is so well written that I feel I know you already. What fabulous stories you have. And I think your paragraph that starts “I’ve found being a SAHM to be a Jekyll and Hyde journey of extremes.” describes the reality of life for many, many stay at home parents – it’s not just you! 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Aaah, the Jekyll and Hyde recognition seems to be a running theme that people are identifying with the most! So glad it’s not just me! It’s nice to feel you know me from reading this! It pretty much sums up my life!! Thanks for the lovely comment. xx

  13. helen gandy Reply

    Fascinating! What an amazing life you have had! Love reading about all the different bloggers in the #coolmumsclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Glad you liked it Helen! The series is such a good idea of Sarah’s, I totally agree! I’ve loved reading the others so far! x

  14. Sarah Reply

    I absolutley love this series. Great idea and thanks for hosting the #coolmumclub Having a good laugh reading about Lucy. Now, I’m away to look up your blog. If I can manage to eke a bit more out of naptime… Sarah x

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      I hope you like it when you get to it! My eldest has recently given up napping, and I’m absolutely devastated!! RIP naps/daytime blogging/getting absolutely anything done whatsoever…! x

      1. MMT Reply

        Snap!…

  15. rhymingwithwine Reply

    I love to hear what drives people to blog, and I can totally relate to your powerful story Lucy. I can’t believe you’ve only been blogging for such a relatively short time. I thought you’d been writing for years! Lovely to find out more about you. Thanks to MMT for hosting too. Dawn x #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Thanks for the lovely comment Dawn, its nice to know you thought I’d been blogging for longer! I’m glad you related to my back story too! x

  16. Silly Mummy Reply

    Great read! Lovely to find out more about Lucy – interesting lady! Love the burlesque troupe! A few things in common in fact: fellow Lucy; no option to return to work due to irregular hours, travel & not covering costs of childcare (though I do also love being a SAHM so it’s ok); & 15 months between mine (not planned, but I agree – nice to get pregnancies out of way). I can’t dance though! 😀 #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Aaaah, we are twins Silly Mummy!!!! I didn’t realise we had so much in common!! Anyone can do burlesque-you should try it!! x

  17. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) Reply

    You have such a great voice in your writing and I also loved how you talked about the contradictions of parenting as I often feel the same. So in control yet so in a panic, loving spending time with my kids yet so wanting to escape for half an hour. What an interesting life you’ve had so far. Nice to discover you.

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Oh thank you, that’s such a lovely comment! The contradictions are definitely a running theme here, with most people identifying with this! I just wish I had someone to panic with/scream into a pillow with sometimes!! x

  18. Helen Reply

    I too am powered by wine and cheese, hurrah! I absolutely love your idea for softplay with wine on entry – looking for a business partner? x #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Yes! You’re on, my new business partner!! We will serve wine (I was thinking Oyster Bay on arrival, Cloudy Bay for those REALLY being given a hard time by their children??) and a selection of the best cheeses (but not Edam or Wensleydale, because they are the only cheeses in the whole world I don’t like.) Can’t wait! x

  19. nightwisprav3n Reply

    That is a really inspiring story! I love your description about being a SAHM is like a Jekyll and Hyde because that is so true. I suffered from Post pardum depression after my first child was born and eventually needed counseling. Things got better though. I used to want to be a stay at home mom but it drove me crazy so I went back to work and back to school. I have worked on and off over the years but I do relish the times I get to be home with my kids. This is a really great post! Thanks so much for sharing your story! Visiting from #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! It sounds like you’ve got a good balance there, with work/study/being with the children! Sorry to hear you suffered PND too, I was in therapy for a long time aswell, and mainly stay pretty levelled now, with the odd dip. Thanks for the lovely comment. x

      1. nightwisprav3n Reply

        Yeah just today I had to deal with a small trigger but I was able to get myself out of it fairly quickly and I’m proud of myself for that. I have found that those dips are going to happen every now and then but as long as we keep working on ourselves and learn how to work through it, we will be okay. Have an awesome day and a great holiday!

  20. maestromummy Reply

    Great introduction! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Fab! I hope you like them! x

  21. Morgan Prince Reply

    A great read, and it’s lovely to hear how people turned to blogging. I’m totally with you on the SAHM thing not being as romantic as it sounds. I found it difficult too. My boys are now 11 and 6 so I guess it’s a little easier now (although I have to cope with tween tantrums daily!). Was great to read about you Lucy, and Thanks to MMT for hosting. xx

    1. This Mus's Life Reply

      I’m glad you found it relatable! Oh my goodness, I can’t even think about tween tantrums!!!! Aaaaargh!!!!!!! x

  22. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    Hi Lucy, You soo need to adopt the comic genius title for your signiture, its perfect for you. Even when you tackle serious subjects like PND there is a honest humour to your writing which makes eveything you write sound as if you are talking to me as a reader personally.
    I absolutely love your blog and feel honoured to call you a friend too Xx
    #Coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Oh Tracey, this comment just made me burst into tears…! I am not a regular crier/burster of uneccessary tears, but it’s been a very long week of child illness, husband working lots absence, no time to do anything important etc etc, and nobody has ever said to me before that it is a privilege to have me as a friend…It was the lovely straw that broke the camels back, so now I’m having a good old sob onto the keyboard! Thanks for your unwavering support, patient answering of all my inane questions, and keeping me in check when it looks like a meltdown is imminent. And of course for your all around loveliness. xx

  23. Claire at Tin Box Traveller Reply

    Great to ‘meet’ you Lucy. It’s already been said but I’d love to visit your soft play when it opens 🙂 I find my stay at home days quite tough at times and always prefer to get out of the house if we can. I have a lot more love for my girls if we’ve not been falling over each other all day 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Yes I totally agree!! I got to go into the shopping centre on my own for a whole half an hour today, and even that rejuvenated my love for my children that little bit more! The eldest starts nursery for a day and a half after Christmas, and we both need it! I’m definitely going to look into the soft play, it’s proving to be a very popular idea…!

  24. Educating Roversi Reply

    Great intro! I will find you on Twitter 🙂 I love your names for your children. I too have a dream soft play that involved a hairdresser and nail technician once a week, better food supplied by my father in laws italian restaurant and more supervision so parents can actually relax when there! Lol. Oh the dream! Look forward to reading more from you. x #CoolMumCLub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Ooooh Italian food! Yes, I will add that to the list of things I need in my soft play! The hairdresser and nail technician will be excellent additions too. I was talking to another mum in an actual soft play about this today, and she suggested a room where mums can go in alone to throw plates! I thought this was a marvellous suggestion also!!

      1. Educating Roversi Reply

        Ha ha brilliant idea!!!

  25. min1980 Reply

    Yay a fellow Bristolian! And I love the soft play idea. Definitely necessary, I say. Why has no one thought of it before?

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      This is definitely a popular idea. I’m going to search for premises, and try and get a business loan…! Yay to a fellow Bristolian!!!!!!!

  26. mumisthewordblog Reply

    Wow. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You are such an interesting with lots to share Lucy. I too had dance training, I’m only 22 years old but has to stop due to family commitments, but like yourself I’m now a stay at home mum and it beats everything else hands down. I am known to have a block of cheese or two once in a while. Totally enjoyed every word of your post, your love and pride for your children shines through massively! #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Thank you for your lovely, lovely comment! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! Yay to another dancer! I will also go back when the children are older, and I have curbed my cheese addiction!

  27. New Mummy Blog Reply

    Awww I really love these posts and it’s just so interesting to read about others. I too dreamed of being a dancer, but in the end didn’t go that route. To be honest, at my age that career would be over now anyway, but I’ve also stepped out of my career to be a SAHM. I didn’t suffer the anxiety you did, but I do love it. #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      Aaaaah, we have lots in common!! So lovely to hear from the people who love being a SAHM! I do feel lucky to be one, but still struggle with it massively sometimes… Still trying to find the right balance!

  28. Anna Brophy Reply

    Seriously I could echo so, so much of what you just said…well…apart from the Burlesque dancing…but I’m just jealous! It is the most amazing and rewarding role being a mum, but man there are some challenging pits! I, too, am a SAHM and totally needing my blog for sanity and to remind myself of the big, wide world out there. Thanks for sharing; the good and the bad! #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      You should give burlesque a go! I know, being a SAHM really is the extremes of all emotions…! I’m so glad I have blogging in my life, it really is the only thing that grounds me sometimes!!

  29. Mum's Hideout Reply

    I’m glad I’m not the only person struggling to find clean and presentable clothing to wear every day. Dry shampoo is my best friend 🙂
    This was an interesting read!
    #coolmumclub

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      I’m so glad you liked it!! Yes, I just employ the sniff and spray approach to my clothes now. If they smell ok, wear them, if they don’t, spray them and wear them anyway!!

  30. Mrs Lighty Reply

    A very honest account, thank you, as it’s not always easy to vocalise the anxiety and loneliness. I can’t believe that all of these fabulous bloggers I’m discovering through the #coolmumclub have only been blogging for a few months! Gives me great hope that my little blog could be as good as yours and other blogs I admire 🙂

    1. This Mum's Life Reply

      That’s a lovely comment, thank you. I was very lucky that I found other lovely bloggers early on, who pointed me in the right direction, and were always there to answer my questions. Without them, I think my blog would still be sat around, not being read by anyone! The very best of luck in building up your blog, I will pop over and have a look!

      1. Mrs Lighty Reply

        Thank you, but please don’t feel obliged! I have been fortunate to have found some lovely blogger’s who’ve helped me out too – including our very own #coolmumclub hosts! – it’s such a lovely little blogging community we’ve got going on, isn’t it? 🙂

  31. Mum in Brum Reply

    What a fantastic post! I love your style of writing and it’s always great to hear about the person behind the blog – you’ve achieved so much with yours in such a short space of time. I love your idea for the fail of the week and I’m also a huge Netflix fan so I will be checking in on that! Looking forward to following your posts and getting to know you better x #coolmumclub

  32. Melissa Reply

    I love hearing about “life before babies” and then seeing how a mother slowly figures out how to incorporate herself back into her own world once it’s taken over by little needy people! Every single mother’s story is inspiring to me and reminds me that I’m a person outside of “mom.” Beautiful guest post by a beautiful person. It was a pleasure to read. #coolmumclub

  33. beautybabyandme Reply

    What an amazing post! So insightful and honest; I absolutely loved it! You’re really inspiring and I look forward to reading more of your posts xx #coolmumclub

  34. dadbloguk Reply

    As an honorary member of the #coolmumclub it is a delight to learn more about you, your dancing, Bristol and, if I can be forgiven for saying so, your buttocks. I shall take a look at your blog when I get a moment.

  35. Becky Pink Reply

    It’s so lovely to read the stories behind the blogs I enjoy reading, thanks so much for sharing. Becky x #coolmumclub

  36. Agent Spitback Reply

    Dear Lucy, thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. I enjoyed having a peep behind the blog. Like MMT, I too fell in love with your blog the day I read about ways you lost your dignity.. I laughed so much and thought quietly, “TG it’s not just ME!” and it felt almost like you were talking to me, it was as if we were already friends, having two slices of Cake together as we talked about our children. But what is even more amazing and important to me is the friendship that grew, so much so that I would now happily share MY slice of Cake with you (if we ever have one slice left). I look forward to reading up on your new things– how exciting — Netflix! I have that weakness too. Is there anything you would do I won’t love?

    Dear MMT, thanks for hosting this series!

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