#coolmumclub: Meet the Members…Single Mum Speaks

I’ve pretty much figured out the kind of Blogs I like – Blogs by Mums who aren’t trying to fit the mold. Blogs which are funny. Blogs by Mums who are self depreciating, and can laugh at their own inadequacies (we all have them)… blogs by people I can see elements of myself in. 

So, it’s no wonder I am a little in love with Single Mum Speaks (@babyorbankrupt). A back story that will charm you, and characters that you’ll be able to imagine in a real life sit com. It’s on my list of Blogs I regularly pop over to, in case I missed something. Min and Piglets escapades will brighten up your day, as they so often do mine. 

#coolmumclub, check it out. You’ll love it, I promise. 

x MMT
Single Mum Speaks

Why I Blog

My blogging journey is a long one.

Very long.  

In fact, I have never met anyone else in the blogging world who has been blogging for as long as me.  It’s a bit embarrassing really, given that I have so far failed to reach the heady heights of what I would call “being a superstar blogger,” which is an imaginary situation which consists of me being paid megamillions to sit at a desk in front of some French doors in a tastefully decorated room (possibly Art Deco), curtains blowing in the breeze that rolls in from the sea just beyond, tapping away at my Macbook with a chilled glass of wine by my side.

Because that’s what happens when you’re a writer, right?

My life as a so-called writer (yes, I just called myself that.  I got brave) did not start that way.  

My life as a blogger started with a bunch of emails.  

You see, back in the early 2000s, I lived in Japan.  And Japan, as I am sure you’re aware, is very far away.  Every week or so I would go to the internet cafe (this was in Ye Olden Days, when I didn’t even know how to use the mouse on a laptop, let alone own one), slide myself into a booth next to a man looking at an unsavoury form of manga, and email.

I emailed my friends, I emailed my family…and I told them about my adventures in Japan.  How I had survived earthquakes, cyclones and Japanese pop music.  How I had become an unlikely fan of WWE wrestling because it was the only thing on TV in English.  How my students kept telling me I had a high nose and a small face.

I never thought anything of these emails.  They were just me, prattling on about how much I missed Ibiza compilation albums and Smirnoff Ice (oh, the early 2000s!) and about my ludicrous crushes on various Japanese TV personalities, and mindless critiques of Japanese music videos.  But then I realised that it wasn’t just my friends who were reading them.  It was also their parents.  Their PARENTS.  And they LOVED my writing.

Well, I thought, if my friends’ parents approve of my writing, maybe it isn’t so bad after all.  Why would they be interested in my 21 year old ramblings about hiding under the table during earthquakes and missing Pret A Manger?

Eventually (after some prompting from a friend’s parents in 2008), I started a blog.

It was basically just my diary, but online.  

I wrote about everything.  My drunken escapades, my disastrous love life, my infuriating co-workers, even a miscarriage.

And then it all crashed and burned.

The infuriating co-workers weren’t too keen on being described as such, and the job was even less keen.  

I learned my lesson, and retreated into silence.

And then, in 2012, I made a decision that was to change my life.

I was going to become a mother.  And I was going to do it on my own terms.  

The love life was still disastrous, and time was running out.  The miscarriage had made me only too aware of the ticking clock, and all I could see was a long slow decline into a lonely and bitter spinsterhood.  I wished I could be childfree and happy, but I knew I never could be.  I would be bitter.  I would be Miss Havisham in the attic in a yellowing bridal gown, being mean to small children out of spite.  I would be miserable and self-pitying.  No one would want to know me.

Something had to be done.

After a fateful night spent wrestling with my conscience and my declining fertility, I booked a ticket to the Fertility Show, and from then on there was only one way I was going, and it was straight to the sperm bank.

Well, the sperm bank was in America.  So actually it was straight to the internet (it’s a bit like internet dating, you know, but without the small talk).  And so I became the proud owner of a nitrogen tank full of sperm (well, the clinic did.  And I had to pay £400 for the privilege of them “looking after” it).

That sperm (well, and my egg, if we’re being SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE) became this
min1

which, after a very long nine months, finally became this

min2

It has been a long journey, and my blog has been there every step of the way.  Mostly it has been private and anonymous, but then in August I went public once again.

I am a blogger, and I am proud.  

Cue tears, Oprah, and the heartfelt speech I’ve been planning for when I finally win a blogging award.

Actually screw that, I’m going for the Booker Prize.  

-Min-

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30 thoughts on “#coolmumclub: Meet the Members…Single Mum Speaks

  1. Mums Monster Map Reply

    Such a lovely story and cute pic x well done for keeping up the writing all this time! I only started this year and I’m still getting used to the ‘how to put what I’m trying to say’ thing. When work/family allow, I’ll definitely be checking in to your blog more xx

  2. Min Reply

    Thank you! It hasn’t been all plain sailing keeping it up all this time, as you’ve probably gathered from the post. There have been some very long blogging breaks (not all of them voluntary). Best of luck with your new blog.

  3. Robyn Reply

    I’m so excited to pop over and check out your blog min you do have a great way of telling a story that makes me want to read more! I was in Korea teaching English in 2002, so can definitely relate to your stories of life in Asia 🙂 Thanks for bringing us another excellent behind-the-scenes MMT.

    1. MMT Reply

      My pleasure Robyn! If you fancy doing one in the new year, drop me an e mail 😉 x

      1. Robyn Reply

        Will do MMT, I’d be so excited to see my name in lights 😉 Seriously though…!

  4. Min Reply

    Thank you! Yes, there was certainly a lot of bloggable material in Japan, as I’m sure you can imagine!

  5. mand Reply

    Ah wow! I shall be having a read. I like the true but slightly comical writing 🙂

  6. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) Reply

    Another great behind the scenes this week Love your strength and determination and your writing style makes me feel like I’ve found a new friend. X

  7. beautybabyandme Reply

    What an amazing post and an amazing journey! Huge amount of admiration for you and your honesty! Have a wonderful christmas with your little one xxx

  8. rhymingwithwine Reply

    I love hearing the story behind peoples’s blogs and this one is fabulous. How amazing that you have a pic of your little treasure as an egg!? Mindblowing! Thank you for sharing MMT (and hosting of course!), and lovely to “meet” you Min! x

    #coolmumclub

  9. Nearly Yummy Mummy Reply

    I love this, it’s so wonderfully written! Love the honesty and I’m so glad your blog has gone public again, I’ll definitely be popping over to have a read 🙂

  10. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    Woooo! Mexican wave for Min! Love the way you write Min, and lovely to read more about your world on this series. Thanks as always for your support of #coolmumclub xx

  11. Becky, Cuddle Fairy Reply

    What a compelling & honest story. It’s fun to hear about the blogger behind the blog. I’m glad that Single Mom Speaks reinvented her blog & came back again. There is so much learning involved in blogging, I know I for one am still finding my feet. #coolmumclub x

  12. Kyles Reply

    This is just such a great story. Sarah, thanks for introducing us to Min and Min, thanks for sharing your blogging story with us. You don’t need to be worried about calling yourself a writer, you most certainly are that. Your writing is wonderful. #coolmumclub

  13. Annette Reply

    Thank you for sharing this little slice of ‘you’. What an interesting journey you have had, and hats off to you being a proud blogger. I really like your style of writing and immediately headed over to read more on your blog. 🙂 #Coolmumclub

  14. Helen Reply

    Amazing and refreshing and funny and damn your kid is cute. Keep up the good work! #coolmumlcub

  15. newmummyblogcom Reply

    Another fab look behind the scenes on coolmumclub 🙂 What a journey, and what a gorgeous super cute photo!! I love your writing and how engaging it is. I’ll definitely be popping over to you on. My regular blog reading pop overs #coolmumclub

  16. Sleepingthroughyet Reply

    Loved reading your story Min, I’ll definitely be popping over to check out your blog! Thanks for sharing MMT x #coolmumclub

  17. Educating Roversi Reply

    Love this. Looking forward to popping over and hearing more about the Life of Min #CoolMumClub

  18. min1980 Reply

    Oh wow, I’ve just seen all these amazing new comments! Thank you everyone. xxx

  19. mumof3 Reply

    What an amazing story! And you write wonderfully – will definitely be heading over to check out your blog.

  20. Meagan's Mum Project (@mumproject) Reply

    Haha I love this! Starting out writing about how you miss Ibiza compilations (but by the way, who doesn’t?!) and drunken escapades to being a mother, what an amazing story. : ) #coolmumclub

  21. Mrs Tubbs Reply

    I love these! So many great stories, so many great bloggers …!

  22. This Mum's Life Reply

    Aaaah, I totally love your style too Min! I’m with Sarah in that I pop over to your blog too, with no prompting, because it’s so compelling and brilliantly written! Really lovely to hear more about you personally. I am still filled with awe at your bravery in going it alone. I would totally have gone down the Mrs Havisham route myself. Screw that, I probably will anyway, I spend my whole life being nice to people, it might be nice to sit and be bitter to everyone for a while! Such a great post. xx
    #coolmumclub

  23. Mrs Lighty Reply

    I am loving discovering all of these fabulous bloggers through #coolmumclub! Your blogging journey is not dissimilar to mine…I suppose mine started when I lived in Austria in 2004 / 2005 and I used to write long emails home (also from an Internet cafe!). I then eventually became a copywriter after being made redundant, and started my own travel blog as a portfolio, and then I started my baby blog in July of this year. I’m so pleased you’ve broken your silence as it were, I for one will be on the look out for more of your posts!

  24. Anna Brophy Reply

    Oh wow! Just got so engrossed in your story, I was lost when it ended! Love the story of the rise of your blog (I, too, have images of curtains gently swaying in the sea breeze as I sip my chandon and tap tap away on my bestseller….) and even more so, that gorgeous little bubba. Yay for you! #coolmumclub

  25. bloodsugarecmomagik Reply

    Lovely! And so, so cute #coolmumclub xxx

  26. Agent Spitback Reply

    Hi Min, I love reading your story…I am about to pop unto your blog and a read around. Thanks for sharing.

    MMT, thanks for hosting this series…what a great way to discover new bloggers.

  27. Something Crunchy Mummy Reply

    I loved reading this! Such a lovely story and how I see many bloggers and myself which is lovely. #coolmumclub xx

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