#coolmumclub: Meet The Members …Agent Spitback

Hey peeps. I don’t think our next guest needs much introduction…a bit of a legend on my blogger circuit, I’m totally honored to hand over to El, aka Agent Spitback, the nuttiest, funniest, randomest mother in town. You may know her as The Mulk, the occasional alter ego…either way, they’re both pretty wonderful. Enjoy!

x MMT 

The Secret Interview of El, of the Secret Diary of Agent Spitback, uncensored.

Claires-Dragon1

Agent Spitback was absolutely thrilled when she received this covert assignment by Mummuddlingthrough, to unmask the woman behind the Secret Diary of Agent Spitback.

Just who in the world is EL?
This elusive persona who goes by the moniker El, is notoriously hard to track down. She is very much the short mum next door, due to her not eating any fruit or vegetables when she was younger, with glasses due to reading in the dark, under covers even though her mum had told her to go to bed two hours earlier, and weird coloured wardrobe combination as she was born with a rare genetic condition called “Wardrobe Colour Disco-ordination Complex”.

El tries not to do any housework ever, in particular she hates cleaning the bathroom and looking for lost socks. She does hold the World Record for the longest apprentice short order cook still in training, 12 years and still counting.

She is married to a John Travolta lookalike, has three lovely children, two of whom are now teenagers and have veto powers over her blog posts, works full time and sleeps part time, survives on lemon juice water and hard boiled eggs.

The Scandal of the ‘70s
In researching for this interview, I found out that El was nearly kicked out of nursery school at age 5 when she marched up to the Principal and berated her openly for providing cheap home brand biscuits for tea. She then threw her paper napkin into her classmate’s Milo to prove her point that the tea was rubbish. El’s mother was then called in. Her mother then warned her very sternly to “behave like a normal child” but El, did what she normally would do, she re-defined normality for her mother. But this epiphany of what makes a brilliant tea at age 5 would later hold El in good stead when choosing her Primary School based on the Catering Menu.

So it was no accident that I managed to find her, my creator, where most moms would be, hiding in the bathroom with the LAST piece of Cake. Feeling cornered and pressured not to share the Chocolate Cake, she agreed to be interviewed for Coolmumsclub : Meet the Members and I was absolutely free to ask her….

The Questions any child would love to ask but would never ever dare to!

Agent Spitback : Who am I? I am Some sort of Fraken-blogmonster you have created?

EL : You are the protagonist in a fictionalized story of a mum trying to survive the most dangerous place in the world – the school playground. This is a fictional narrative based loosely on events and people everyone talks about on Facebook. You are a “normal” mom just trying to figure things out. You are the mum next door. You are the mum we see in school. You are the mum we see on the football field. You are the mum we bump into at the shops. But you are also the mum who cries in the shower. And you are the mum who makes us all laugh, laugh at our mistakes, our fears, our anxieties, our insecurities, our triumphs, and our achievements. In reality, you are the mum people would stay far away from because they are afraid they might appear in your Diary.

Agent Spitback : Was I an accident?

EL : No, no, you were very much a planned Franken-blogmonster baby. I carried you for more than 10 years (yes, very very overdue) and I remember the exact moment you were born.

It was a night like any ordinary night. I had a toddler with severe reflux, a newborn who didn’t like sleeping and a husband who liked sleeping too much. It was 11pm and I had put in a proposal to the Oxford Dictionary on the creation of a new word : “Mumatose” – the re-definition of maternal exhaustion. I was so close to losing it, because I felt I was not coping and was failing miserably not once but now with two children! My toddler had walked in on me, and saw me expressing breastmilk for the first time. He was fascinated and asked what I was doing. My husband then explained to him that I was expressing my breastmilk.

“Mummy Cow!” he declared all too seriously and even in sheer exhaustion and feelings of failure, I laughed.

I laughed so hard that, you, Agent Spitback popped out and was born as my psychological defense mechanism. You made me see the lighter funny side to the dark or even mundane moments and have been a constant companion on my journey.

Life would always be challenging, there would be ups and downs but hilarity is indeed the balm of life.

And the good things in life, except for Chocolate and Cake, should be shared.

Agent Spitback : Why blog?

EL : Why not? (laughs) The Tabitha story had been written a year before and I was sick of receiving rejection letters from literary agents and publishers. I thought I rather hear from the people I had always intended to reach anyway. If real people thought my story was rubbish, then I would pack it all in.

There are definitely some exciting changes coming to the blog. I have many dark skeletal secrets waiting to be unearthed from the closet. Your story is not what it seems to be. I have a very big Narnia Like Closet where magical adventures and stories await! So stay tuned for more Mama Drama!

Agent Spitback : Do you have a favourite, The MULK or me?

EL : The Mulk is your best imaginary friend whom I have adopted! The MULK is about the one off blog posts. And you know Mums never have any favourites…yeah, right.

Agent Spitback : Are you really proud of me?

EL : Yes, I am actually. You have allowed me to connect with some of the most amazing bloggers, some of whom I am so honoured to call friends, mentors and fellow mischief-makers. And I look forward to meeting many more!

It has been an amazing blogging journey, and I am loving every minute of it. Where else can I write my life nonsense and not be arrested for “un-normal” (sic intended) humour?

x El

Follow me on the silly brick road on Facebook (facebook.com/agentspitback/)

Tweet me nonsense at @Agentspitback (twitter.com/AgentSpitback)

 

 

Mummuddlingthrough

 

 

 

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33 thoughts on “#coolmumclub: Meet The Members …Agent Spitback

  1. min1980 Reply

    All hail the Mulk! I am quite literally doing ancient pagan prayer pose and bowing down right now. A true ledge. Thank you MMT for featuring!

    1. MMT Reply

      Pleasure was most definitely all mine…

    2. agentspitback Reply

      I hope those are prayers for takeaway cake? The Mulk does a very unladylike squat to meet you mid bow but CREAK, nope, she’s now permanently stuck in that position. Obviously, squatting exercises should be in this year’s goals. Thank you.

  2. mand Reply

    Hellllooo agent spitback 🙂

    1. agentspitback Reply

      Hello back! I hope I haven’t scared you…yet…

  3. Laura's Lovely Blog Reply

    Ha ha thanks for this I love Agent Spitback’s blog and I think it’s a real shame publishers were foolish enough not to pick it up x

    1. The Anxious Dragon Reply

      Its a shame for El, but a huge great bonus for us x

  4. Life Love and Dirty Dishes Reply

    Another fan here 🙂 #coolmumsclub

  5. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    Agent Spitback, your mummy El is one of my bestest blogging buddies and my secret dragon twin. She deserves every bit of the success and adoration that you and the blog have bought to her door, she is fabulous one of a kind and I am very lucky to be able to call her my friend. Thanks MMT for hosting as always xxx

    1. Agent Spitback Reply

      Aw, thank you so much. Wiping a tear away.

  6. Becky Pink Reply

    Love this! a great insight, thanks x #coolmumclub

  7. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    Classic Agent Spitback hilarity as usual! My life’s ambition is to get to meet El face to face and get her autograph…I wonder if this will ever happen!!!? x Barnstorming edition as ever #coolmumclub co-hosty with the mosty x

    1. Agent Spitback Reply

      Eeek, that would be my dream too! To meet you and then have a gin and tonic together so that you’ll spill, I mean, share your secrets, I mean, stories.

  8. beautybabyandme Reply

    Such a huge fan of this blog! Thank you for the read x #coolmumclub

  9. islandliving365 Reply

    hahaha, a very insightful interview 🙂 Thanks Agent Spitback

  10. Helen Reply

    ha ha ha. Brilliant. Bizarre. But brilliant. Love your work (as the ozzie’s say). Stay cool and get published. #coolmumclub

  11. rhymingwithwine Reply

    Loving your work El. There will always be three spare places on my sofa for you, Agent Spitback and The Mulk. I would love to share cake and tea (ok wine) with all three of you!

    Thank you for sharing this brilliant insight MMT.

    Dawn x
    #coolmumclub

  12. Mrs Tubbs Reply

    Bonkers as ever! And a joy to read. Thank you for featuring one of my favourite blogers

  13. Natalie @KidGearUK Reply

    Ha ha 😀 Brilliant. I’ve come back to blogging after a break and I’m glad I found your blog.

  14. nightwisprav3n Reply

    Always a pleasure to read stories from EI! Another example of her awesome creativity! You have a fan here!

  15. Mrs Lighty Reply

    Haha, I love this! Great work Agent Spitback on your mission! #coolmumclub

  16. DomesticatedMomster Reply

    I love the mind set behind the creativity of your blog. Brilliant! Just brilliant! Trista

  17. Lucinda Leo Reply

    This is my first time here … what have I been missing??!! Thanks for brightening my day. I’ll be back!

    1. MMT Reply

      Thank you! 🙂

  18. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) Reply

    So great to lean moe about you your fabulousness x

  19. nicolekkennedy Reply

    This is fantastic! Still laughing at “Mummy Cow”!

  20. Someone's Mum Reply

    Really interesting and entertaining read. Off to go and investigate some more… 🙂 #coolmumclub

  21. The Speed Bump Reply

    This is fab, El is one of my all-time favourite bloggers! #coolmumclub

  22. butterflymum83 Reply

    Love it lol! Thanks for sharing, it was awesome getting to know you better 🙂 #coolmumclun

  23. lizzie ( firstooth ) Reply

    Gosh! How cool is this, someone’s missed a trick in publishing for sure! Thanks for sharing with us though #coolmumclub

  24. This Mum's Life Reply

    You are so fabulous El, and my life is a better place with your blog in it!! When I first joined Twitter, I was overwhelmed by how many other blogs were out there, and I found you and was intrigued by your blog name. Then after reading many blogs, I found that I just got yours. It is so witty, sharp and brilliant, and I just know I’m going to be that mum in the playground, surrounded by the yummy mummy’s who have it all together, while I’m falling apart! I identified with the stories! My life will be complete once we have met in person. Cake for you, cheese for me!! Thank you for your greatness. Xx
    #coolmumclub

  25. Agent Spitback Reply

    A BIG thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment! I have read each and every comment and it has definitely given me the motivation to continue writing and posting more life nonsense. AHA, are you all groaning NOW? Probably not as loud as my husband who is terrified of what I will be posting next. I am so very touched and honoured to have so many of you in my blogging circle.

    A big thanks for MMT for featuring me on your very very cool website. I am a bit late, as usual, I blame the fact that I live in a different time zone!

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