Can Mum be cool?

In my pre-baby days I like to think I had a bit of street cred. An amazing circle of girl friends, a vibrant social life which saw me travel the world and party hard. I could be found most weekends at a gig of a cool band, a bar in London, a festival or just living it up and enjoying my twenties.

I fell pregnant on my 30th birthday which could be an ironic coincidence. As I left my twenties behind and celebrated the future that lay ahead (I’d been TTC nearly a year) I confided in my pals that my biggest fear was losing who I am, and becoming a boring frumpy mum. ‘That’ll never happen!’ Was the general response.

Even though I’m no longer 12, I still pine to be cool. *shame*

In the early days of motherhood I was in an absolute blur and could not even focus on the world outside my bubble. I think that year I tried to keep my pals in my network but inevitably, found it easier to spend my days with the new mums I’d met at baby groups, and weekends enjoy having Mr.G at home.

As I got into the swing of being back at work after my year off I felt so much more like me again, and got out of the leggings and baggy tops, even enjoyed the odd night out.

One day during my lunch break I popped out to pick up some new season clothes. Staring at my reflection in matalan, I had a WTF moment as I saw the person staring back at me trying on wide leg trousers and a smock top. Needless to say I ran out of that shop as fast as my legs could carry me and the next day spent a small fortune in urban outfitters. That was a close one.

Pregnancy number two (and the bad ending of it) saw me forget about entertaining any social life or style status. I pretty much hibernated that winter with my little family and emerged in the spring as a pregnant butterfly ready to move on with my life. Pregnancy, fashion, single friends don’t mix too well, so the year was really spent reconnecting with friends from the past in the same boat as me. Amazing friendships bloomed and my family, as always came first.

Now baby-g is almost 9 months old. I’ve shifted a bit of baby weight. I’ve had a few good nights out (mostly to family parties :-/) but I definitely can no longer handle my drink!

Nights out are no longer impulsive as they require planning to the nth degree which often results in disappointment or excited-drunk-after-two-wines. Not cool.

I rarely get to listen to new music thanks to the Disney CD in the car. But I’ve started to listen to the radio while I cook and turn ceebeebies off.

I don’t think I’ve ever lost my sense of style? But the clothes are more TU at Sainsburys than Topshop.

I find it hard to connect with my single baby free friends who have high flying careers in the city, but I have great friends who get me and love my quirky, sometimes inappropriate sense of humour.

My kids think I’m cool. My gorgeous hubby thinks I’m cool. Some other mums I know, I think, think I’m pretty cool. So I guess like many things in life there’s a hierarchy and maybe I’m comparing myself to others too much.

My coolest friend just announced she’s preggers. I can’t wait to see what happens next πŸ˜‰

*looks on iPhone for a cool night out picture. Oh there isn’t one *

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0 thoughts on “Can Mum be cool?

  1. Random Musings Reply

    I think once you’re a parent, your priorities change, but having said that if you want to wear skinny jeans and 6in heels, why not? Forget what others think and comparing yourself to them, as long as you are happy with who you are, that’s all that matters. There’s also an effortless coolness to people who genuinely couldn’t care less what others think of them πŸ™‚ #bestandworst
    Debbie
    http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      True words thanks Debbie. And after all what is cool anyway? Maybe my idea of cool is different to the next persons. So cool is as cool does πŸ™‚ x

  2. Helen Gandy Reply

    Haha this is great, I like to think I’m still a bit cool since having kids?? I mean I have a cool laptop, a cool phone and I like hip hop and r&b, that makes me ‘down with the kids’ yeah??? Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst hope to see you next week! x

  3. Mary @TheHeartyLife Reply

    Ahhhhh I relate to this so much! I’m deffs in the comparison boat too and honestly it does me no good so don’t bother haha Love yourself, your family live you and they say your cool and I expect Hot too so what does it matter what others think? (at least thats what I tell myself) I went through an awful phase when I had my first at 26 where I thought I had to start dressing “mumsy” haha what a joker..I looked so frumpy and awful!

    Nowadays I feel I have finally found “my style” and what I am comfortable in – Patterns, prints, skinny jeans, a bit of glam, colour and generally joyful outfits..irrelevant of trends if it makes me happy to look at I wear it haha and have become a more relaxed happy person.

    Your probs a right babe so don’t be afraid to let it out xx #bestandworst

  4. […] This is my box of memories;  tickets of amazing gigs and legendary bands I was lucky enough to ... mummuddlingthrough.com/2015/09/10/throwback-thursdays-a-box-of-memories
  5. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) Reply

    I don’t think I ever managed to be cool and I’ve found motherhood to be quite liberating in that respect – nobody bats an eyelid when you’re walking down the road with a buggy and singing Twinkle Twinkle to your baby. It made me realise that most of the time, nobody else is really watching what you’re doing and they’re usually too concerned with their own preoccupations to care. As long as my hubby and children are happy with who I am, that’s all that really matters πŸ™‚ #coolmumclub

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      You are so right Louise. One of my biggest surprises in changing post children, is that actually I might still pine to be cool, but I definitely wouldnt pine after my life before kids – I’m so grateful, and wouldn’t change a single thing. (Well, more sleep maybe ;-)) x MMT Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub PS I think you are an amazingly cool mum xxx

  6. Mummy Tries Reply

    I can very much relate to this, and wrote something similar just last week. I think most mums go through at least a little identity crisis at some point.

    The balance will come from doing something for you amid the often crazy every day of family life (especially when kids are wee and you’re in the trenches). Fab post!

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      Ooh I’ll go check it out later! Us mums love a bit of self-bashing don’t we?! Definitely getting used to life as a Mummy, it all falls into place eh? Wouldn’t change a thing x Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

  7. mackenzieglanville Reply

    cool post! I questioned once can I even still use the word cool at my age with 3 kids? I can relate to this post all too well! #coolmumclub

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      Exactly, but I think accepting life as a mum brings a whole new kind of cool doesn’t it. Being a cool mum to your kids – that’s the goal nowadays x MMT Thank you for linking up to #coolmumclub

  8. Harps Reply

    Ah I definitely struggled with the same! But I’m slowly getting used to putting my family first (I struggle letting others down) – I’d pick lounging on the sofa with a DVD on and bowl of sweet popcorn over a night out any day! And that would’ve been the case even before Arj lol. My cool status is pretty non existent! Hehe #coolmumclub x

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      It’s just a new kind of cool Harps…a better kind eh? x MMT Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

  9. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    I think ‘cool’ is a very subjective thing. What I thought was cool when I was a teen or early 20’s isnt the same as what I think is cool now im..err…a bit older (ok, in my 40’s)
    I think your a cool mum. #coolmumsclub

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      Thanks pickle! That is my exact conclusion too… Who cares?! If you want to be cool, be it. If you want to be anything, be it. If you want to be a blogger, be it. And if you want to host a link up? Go for it! Thanks for coming over to #coolmumclub xxx

  10. mummuddlingthrough Reply

    Thanks for joining us over at #coolmumclub Hun! X

  11. helen gandy Reply

    Thanks for hosting, I already commented on this post and I remember loving it πŸ™‚ #coolmumclub

  12. Nadia - ScandiMummy Reply

    I hear you… great post! And thank you for starting this cool new linky πŸ˜‰

    Nadia – ScandiMummy xx

  13. nightwisprav3n Reply

    I never worried about being cool because I was too preoccupied with other things but I can totally understand the fashion thing. I didn’t actually get into fashion until AFTER my kids were born (ironic isn’t it)? That was when I started working at a clothing store and being in that environment, it rubbed off on me. I’m still not down with all the hip new things but I have my own style and I like it. Moms can still be cool because we don’t even have to try. Love this post! I especially like the part about going clothes shopping and being in a different store than you would have gone into before motherhood. I went through the same thing after I had my oldest. Thanks for sharing! visiting from #coolmumclub

  14. Mum in Brum Reply

    Ha this really made me chuckle. It’s so true that once youre a parent cool just goes out of the window! I’ve been meaning to go shopping to get out of my ‘post pregnancy wardrobe’ for the past nine months but there’s always something else I’d prefer to be doing! I am all for supermarket clothes though πŸ™‚ Liking the new linky x

  15. Laura's Lovely Blog Reply

    I think cool changes when you get older. Cool becomes being yourself and having your own sense of style and confidence to go with it. I bet you’re a totally cool and uber trendy mum πŸ™‚ #coolmumclub

  16. min1980 Reply

    I think you’re a cool mum! It’s all about the image anyway, being cool (I like to think). I just make sure no one apart from my immediate family, extended family, forty-odd closest friends and local neighbourhood sees me in leggings and a snot-stained T-shirt. To the rest of the world, it’s glam all the way.

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      Ha ha, thanks Min! I have briefly entered a dressing up phase now I have been made redundant, in fear of never looking half decent again. Feel a bit of a twit on the nursery run in heeled ankle boots though so that’ll last 5 minutes! x MMT

  17. Mama Reply

    Haha, I’m not sure I was ever or will ever be ‘cool’. I aim for ‘interesting’ but think I probably fall more often on the ‘weird’ side of things. Never mind, my kid still thinks I’m fab πŸ™‚

    #coolmumsclub

  18. A Moment with Franca Reply

    hahaha… I relate completely with this!! I want to think I’m still cool!! I think at least I was pretty cool before having kids but tbh it is dam difficult to carry on your coolest part when you have 2 kids jumping like monkeys all over you 24/7 LOL. My youngest is now 1 year old and I still need to come back to my previous weight so I find it difficult sometimes to feel a cool mum but I’m getting there LOL. I guess we are all cool in a sense as you say!! Just being a parent is really cool!! Great post and thanks for hosting! πŸ™‚ x
    #coolmumclub

  19. Unhinged Mummy (aka Janine Woods) Reply

    Oh I was definately cool at school. At least I like to think so. These days. … not so much! I live in leggings and baggy tops because they’re comfy. I never used to give a toss about comfy. Beauty is pain. Or at least it used to be. Now a days beauty is having a lie in past 6.30 am and soaking into a hot bath alone. Since becoming a mum I’ve totally lost my ‘cool’ in more ways than one πŸ˜‰

    Visiting from your linky #coolmumclub. Thanks for hosting this fab linky πŸ™‚

    1. mummuddlingthrough Reply

      That all sounds very familiar! Thank you for stopping by and welcome to #coolmumclub x MMT

  20. wonderfulandaverage Reply

    Life really does change a lot after having babies and, as much as I wanted to be a mum, I was sure a tiny bit of me would miss my old life, but I really don’t! I look at my gorgeous husband and son and just think, ‘there is no where in the world I would rather be right now.’ Arrgh, I think I may have just outed myself as very uncool!! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub xx

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