Being a no-selfies blogger

In a world where appearance appears to be everything, it’s a breath of fresh air being a voice without a face. One place in life I don’t have to worry if my ‘skulking around at home’ clothes are going to be inadvertently seen by another adult human being. Where I don’t have to consider my outfit choice based on who I am seeing today and worry that my perfectly straightened hair is now in some crazy kinked up mess after being tied up off my face within 10  minutes of ‘being done’.

Sure, my instagram feed is packed with mug shots, but they are generally of this kind of calibre…

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I know, you must be rushing off to check you’re following me RIGHT NOW.

There is even a couple of OOTD style selfies, sans head. And that was no bad-photography accident. In fact, my instagram feed can be pretty well summed up by a stream of seasonal randoms, food and feet.

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Uncloaking my anonymity has however been something I have thought about a lot…I do afterall like reading blogs where I can visualise the person telling their story. But, I also love the blogs where I have to create an  image of them in my mind too. After all, have you ever disliked a great Novel because you didn’t have a selfie of the lead heroine?

It’s not that I don’t love a well angled selfie (who doesn’t?),  but posting it on the blog, now that’s a whole different ball game.

I am a huge fan of Rhyming with Wine, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows, Agent Spitback…I don’t need to go on do I? There are some pretty wonderful writers out there who in my mind, look like little animated avatars.

I do wonder though, is it a coincidence that some of the ‘Blogging greats’ of our time also happen to be quite gorgeous? Well groomed, smiling away, being the image of perfection? Could putting ones face on the side bar be the missing piece of the puzzle, to sky rocketting that blog straight to the Brilliance In Blogging awards? Or to the cess pit of unsuccessful blogger Mums? I don’t know of any real anonymous Blog Idols?…although come to think of it, I can’t visualise that Mum in the Madhouse lady…

Have I ever thought more or less of a blog, because of the way the writer looks? In all honesty no – I am probably more influenced by the beauty of the site than of the face of the author.

So what’s stopping me?

I guess, I’m just a little uncomfortable with the ‘fame element’ (yeah yeah, I know, I wish). I know that my happy smiling face might sell a product better than a pure product placement shot. But that’s a hit I’m willing to take, because that’s not really my goal. I’m probably also a bit nervous that no picture would be ‘good enough’ to put out there to be ‘scrutinised’ by thousands of people. How on earth would you choose which picture to use?! (I guess, black and white, slightly out of focus would be a good start!).

And what if…what if one day a post went viral, or somehow I got it wrong…I don’t want to wake up to my face on the Daily Mail App.

There is of course a couple of back of head shots floating around on the blog…the ‘About me’ beach picture I am actually about 7 months pregnant with Dangermouse…something I see every time I look at the picture, but you guys would not.

And what about the kids? I mentioned before that their faces are a part of my story I’m not prepared to share (along with their names). Ironic that I’m willing to spill all on their childhood…but I have an overriding feeling that their identity isn’t mine to put out there. Until, one day, I’m sure they’ll plaster their own lives all over social media as the youth of today seem so compelled to do (pot kettle black).

But it’s been tempting. So so tempting. In the same way I didn’t put any baby pictures on my (once active) personal facebook page for two whole months, until the motherly pride could be contained no more…After all, their gorgeous faces (and you’ll have to trust me on this one… gorgeous), and some of the cheeky wonderful images we have captured over the years could be shared, liked, cooed over en mass at one tiny click of a button. You’d love them. You’d love their names. You’d fall in love with their big brown eyes and dimples. But…on this one I’m standing firm.

This is of course no criticism to the many of you who do share the images of yourselves, and your beautiful families. Many of whom I thoroughly enjoy. It’s all a personal choice how each blogger shares their lives…and the spectrum is vast. If I’m completely honest though, and I’m being brutal here, some blogs jam packed with pictures of family snaps can, for me, be as turn off as that annoying Mother-type who bores you to tears talking about her little darlings… You know the ones.

But who ever said we had to all love each others blogs? Variety is the spice of life and I’m sure there will be plenty of people not loving mine. And I’m cool with that.

I’m going to Britmums Live in June, so hopefully see some of you there…Of course, you won’t know me at first, but keep your eyes peeled on the name badges. Maybe you’ll be able to visualise me whilst reading my blog after all, after meeting me in the good old fashioned way.

x MMT

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80 thoughts on “Being a no-selfies blogger

  1. Dean B Reply

    I can so relate! I’m like you. My Instagram feed is almost the same as yours and I don’t have a headshot on my blog either. And like you I’ve been batlling with the decision to post one or not. Why? Becuase everyone said so! Im still undecided by the way.

    1. MMT Reply

      You mean that’s not you in your avatar?! 😉 Thanks for stopping by…the beauty of blogging is there’s only one person calling the shots and that’s you… x

  2. Laura's Lovely Blog Reply

    Oh I am kind if gutted I’m not coming to Britmums live now! I think you should do what is right for you. I do wonder if one day my children will not like the fact I have shared their photos. I imagine as they older I will do it less. But I love your blog, photo or not!

    1. MMT Reply

      Ah, Thanks Laura. That means a lot! I’m sure all our kids will be all over the internet of their own accord by the time they are old enough to care 😉 x

  3. Robyn Reply

    I’m on your side of the fence, and my IG feed looks pretty similar. I haven’t gone for anonymous (mainly because friends and family are the only people who read!) but I’ve used the same handful of photos for all my profiles. I simply don’t like having my photo taken that much so all the pics on my public feeds are pretty generic. I’m always curious to see the face behind the words but I’m not super-interested in seeing daily mug shots (except the coffee and tea ones!)

  4. Agent Spitback Reply

    I hear you, sista! And I was nodding along to everything you said, it was almost I was writing this post, telepathically through you! Valid valid points because obviously I feel the same way yet like you say, variety is the spice of life and cest la vie, to each his own! It is kinda cool that you think of me as an animated avatar – that’s is actually the COOLEST thing anyone has ever said about me. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

  5. Zoe Alicia Reply

    Really interesting angle on the ‘public face’ of blogging that I hadn’t really considered before. I think it’s perfectly okay to not want your face out there, whether you’re famous or not. 🙂 #abitofeverything

  6. wendy Reply

    I love you’d blog and I agree, pictures are not always needed. I end up changing my picture in the sidebar quite a lot as I can never find one I’m really happy with. Have fun at Britmums xxx

  7. Nina Reply

    Good post! I was immediately drawn to your post as this is something I’ve struggled with (and still do) – posting selfies or photos of myself i.e. But after my friends kept saying that there should be more photos of me on the blog, I started trying to get more in there – and now I’m even doing outfit posts! (which still make me cringe though haha) Anyway, maybe I shouldn’t be listening that much to what other people say…But on the other hand I do like to see photos of the blogger on the blog – or at least photos taken by the blogger. Each to their own 🙂 xx #abitofeverything

  8. nicolekkennedy Reply

    I feel very similarly to this (she says with photo accompanying comment! It’s the only one, honest!). I have a few on my Instagram feed but not of my boys, mainly because I’m worried they’ll get older & not appreciate it & also because I find social media wonderful but slightly terrifying! Noticed you’re in Kent, me too – waving! Xx

    1. MMT Reply

      It is however, a great photo 😉 waving right back at ya! My linky starts back up for the new year on Thursday…you should pop over, you’d fit right in… #coolmumclub

  9. nicolekkennedy Reply

    Ha thanks I keep thinking: why did I choose one where I’m not wearing make-up?! Sounds great, I’d love to join. I’ll look out for it. Not sure I’ll qualify though for #coolmumclub ! X

  10. pauline Reply

    i sometimes wish I blogged like you, I barely take any selfies, I used to take loads but have changed in the past few years, I’m getting old!!! If you see a selfie of me there’s 10 filters on it! As for waking up with your face on the daily mail I can only wish that never happens and I doubt it will as I haven’t wrote anything that great lol, I love anonymous bloggers, I don’t think it comes down to appearances at all, I will follow a blog if I like their posts #abitofeverything

    Pauline x

  11. The Anxious Dragon Reply

    I ummmed and aahhed about this when I first started this blog. Previous to this I had always blogged anonomously, but I decided that if I was going to come out of the blogging closet, I should do it properly. Saying that you will never see many pics of me, because I hate having my photo taken, and am incapable of taking a decent selfie. #Bestandworst

  12. Life Love and Dirty Dishes Reply

    My photo is the only one I have ever liked! It’s amazing what a good hair day can do! Although I’m not convinced it looks like me, so I may have the same problem as you at Britmums! #bestandworst

  13. Rachel Reply

    Really interesting post – I laughed out loud at your mail online app reference! Does having a picture really matter? Surely it’s the writing & content that is most important (at least I would like to think it is!) #bestandworst

  14. Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) Reply

    I have never even thought about you not having a picture to be honest!! It’s funny. I must admit I like to know who I am talking to/reading posts but it can’t be that much of a big deal. If your writing is good (which it is) and people follow your blog (which they do) a picture doesn’t even matter! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx Ps I’m going to Brit Mums too so come and find me 🙂 x

  15. Mrs Tubbs Reply

    You’ve got to do what you think is best for you and your family. Some bloggers are happy to share loads of information and photos, others pick and choose. I share family photos, but not my husband’s or daughter’s real name or our full location. I’m sure if someone is sufficiently determined they could find me, but hopefully most people won’t be bothered enough to try.

    Look forward to meeting you at BML!

    1. MMT Reply

      I’ll be the one with a paper bag over my head 😉 xx

  16. rhymingwithwine Reply

    I love how your posts still include lots of images, and they can always still be identified as yours because of your font and your style. Personally I like to stay anonymous as I find it allows me to write and share more confidently. (Plus the post xmas diet was so easy for my avatar, just a bit less colouring in and the mince pies had gone. Peasy! Hehe).

    Thank you for the blog love honey. Right back at you xx

    #bestandworst

    1. MMT Reply

      Ha ha, brilliant! Thanks for the kind words…maybe I should design myself an avatar that looks like a mini Kate Moss… 😉

  17. occupation:(m)other Reply

    Hmm definitely something I think about. I like not having my face on my blog (or my son’s). But i do wonder if it makes people more popular (particularly on twitter) to see a real face. But I don’t know…or mind anyway! I’ve never realised that I haven’t seen your face…think that means whatever you are doing is working! Really interesting post. If I come to Britmums, I’ll keep an eye out for your shoes! #bestandworst

    1. MMT Reply

      Ha ha, funny how the invisibility has been…invisible? I do, obviously, look like a cross between Kate Moss and Kylie Minogue with the style of Alexa Chung, so you’ll spot me no problem) *in her dreams*

  18. randommusings29 Reply

    This post is a breath of fresh air. I continually read posts that insist there has to be photo of you on your about page/in your side bar etc. I am a writer not a model – my words do the talking. Personally, I don’t mind either way if a blog I read has a photo of the blogger or not – if I enjoy the posts, I will enjoy them regardless of whether I know what the blogger looks like. If I guest post on another blog and they request a photo, I will send one, but I honestly think for my own blog, it’s unnecessary clutter. #abitofeverything
    Debbie

  19. Something Crunchy Mummy Reply

    Great post and some really valid points. Hope I get to meet you at britmums. I am one of those mums that everyone know what I look like and I like to show off my kids but each to their own. I love your blog and I love to know what people look like but then I also like to picture them myself if they don’t have a picture. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub xx

  20. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) Reply

    I began with an avatar and moved to a photo after much consideration. I don’t use my sons names but do feature lots of photography as it is my passion. I think you need to do what you are comfortable with. I love the variety in blogging. Each to their own.

  21. motherhoodtherealdeal Reply

    I kinda love being able to imagine what a blogger looks like in the absence of photos. I try to limit any shots of me and my little one although sometimes they do appear if it feels right, but who wants to see my ugly mug plastered all over the place!? Sending love and excitement to meet you at Brit Mums Live vibes to my #coolmumclub partner in crime x

  22. Mrs Lighty Reply

    Some very good points raised! I do include photos of Baby Lighty but I wrestle with my choice every time I do. You’ve definitely got me thinking. Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub 🙂

  23. The Speed Bump Reply

    This is a really interesting post! It’s not something I’d ever properly thought about really – I just linked up my personal IG to my blog, and I share quite a few pics on Facebook and so on (never been a selfie queen though) so it just feels natural to share the odd picture on the blog too. I totally agree with you about the blogs that are chock full of perfect family photos though! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub

  24. Anna Brophy Reply

    Thinking maybe you should wear a mask to the Britmums Live, just to suspend the mystery… Roll with whatever works; even those with photos sometimes don’t stick for me… although now the hair and sunglasses pic will always be you… Thanks #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      It’s not a bad look, would certainly be an improvement for the mornings after the shocker nights with the baby! 😉 Thanks for the comments

  25. dadbloguk Reply

    Right, the one thing anonymity will do is limit your ability to work commercially as a blogger with brands. If you ain’t blogging for money….that ain’t gonna be a problem. I’m a firm believe you should do what you want with blogs. It’s like punk rock, a form of self expression. Some people insist on adhering to blogging “rules”. Ignore them! As for blogs packed full of Vn Trapp family images. . . yup, a massive turn off. Who are they trying to kid that they lead a perfect life? Doesn’t fool me! Thanks for hosting #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      You make a very good point John. Monetising the blog I guess would be a pretty tasty sideline, but it’s certainly not the driver. I just don’t think I could bring myself to do it regardless of my goals so I’ll just have to take the rough with the smooth…and keep saving money on switching insurances instead! Cheers for the comments.

  26. Kat @ Eat.Love.Live Reply

    I feel like I could have written this! We’re on the same page girlfriend. I share loss of stories, info and OOTD of Baby Girl but I will never show her face or reveal her name just because I feel like that should be her choice and I’m not sure if the repercussions when she grows up with having so much information about her available at the click of a button – probably very old fashioned of me. I used to be completely anonymous but made the decision to reveal my name and face a few months into blogging. I do have the odd selfie of myself appear on my Instagram, although I do feel like they are incredibly dorky shots rather than the many glamourous ones that fill my feed haha xx #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      My instagram has a load of back of kids heads shots for exactly those reasons…glad to know I’m not the only pblogger with no online kids ha ha xx

  27. beautybabyandme Reply

    Such a good post with some really valid points. Now I do occasionally post pics of me and my family and I must admit on my private Insta and FB I do love a selfie But I have to say I like people to enjoy my blog for my honest writing that is far more important to me than a picture, And as you say it leaves an air of mystery to not include pics! Either way I love your blog so it’s obviously working 🙂 xx #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      I’ll pay you later Fi 😉 Loving your new posts too! x

  28. moderatemum Reply

    In terms of the blogs I love there seems to be no advantage to having your face on it for me, however in terms of the bloggers I’ve connected with I think weirdly it’s happened more easily when I can imagine their face, perhaps you could share an artists impression? 😉 #coolmumblog

    1. moderatemum Reply

      Sorry the kid was up at 3:30am #coolmumclub

  29. Busy Working Mummy Reply

    I have always shown my face but I think giving a little mystery is a good thing. Everyone is different, and I think it is interesting to think how people would see you too. I don’t like the perfect photo, never been a fan, plus I am awful at taking that perfect picture anyway. so I may not be anonymous but I certainly don’t paint my life as perfect…I physically cannot haha #coolmumclub x

  30. 2teens1preteen Reply

    I love your honesty in this post and am hiding behind my computer on this comment as know my blog I’ve just posted contains a selfie – don’t hate me – it honestly did take a billion attempts which is so hilarious really as totally diminishes the fact that it’s an accurate photo of me – I know that people would prefer to see the 99 that I didn’t publish! So, in a roundabout way I guess what I’m trying to say is that anonymity and the writing should always be enough and is definitely more honest – great post … again!

    1. MMT Reply

      Hate you? How could I?! Plus I didn’t say I don’t love a selfie… I just don’t post them on the blog 🙂 thanks for the kind words! Great to have you back!

      1. 2teens1preteen Reply

        Phew!!! Thank you for your kind words – I’m glad to be back – do love #coolmumclub and am in awe of your ability to host so well!! Now off for some quality reading xx

        1. MMT Reply

          I am in awe of my ability to do anything at this time of night! But it’s comments like this that make it all worthwhile. Thank you honey x

  31. 2teens1preteen Reply

    oops Happy Thursday #coolmumclub

  32. Jess Powell (Babi a Fi) Reply

    Love this post – it’s all personal choice, I think. I’ve never worried too much about the anonymity because all my details / photo etc is out there anyway because of work. I figure I might as well make the most of it. 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      I love the variety in all you lovely linkers. Off to nose at what your work is all about….

  33. Helen Reply

    No cess pit of failure for you dear MMT! Don’t be daft. Your feet are lovely, I’m sure Louboutin are about to pick up the phone and make you an offer you can’t refuse.
    I had exactly the same debate. But in the end I had a wordpress theme that required giant high spec pics, we had one of those grim family shoots done so I only had those. I’m very hung-over in my pic (slitty eyes) and fluffy hair, but it is me, so I just got used to it.
    I do completely get where you’re coming from and nothing you’re doing is lacking. so carpe diem! xx #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      Cheers m’dear! Good to know I’m doing something right…we can only but be ourselves! Or, hide ourselves (?!) Jeez I think I need to go to bed ha ha. Thanks for the awesome comments of awesomeness. Night!

  34. Louise Reply

    I always find it interesting to read about the reasons why other bloggers choose how much of themselves (and their families) they wish to reveal. I think there are a lot of pros and cons for each option – I share my children’s names and photos but I also hold back on other things. For me, it was because Jessica’s story was already out there through her blog and because it is easier for other heart families to relate to a more personal story. I think though that good writing shines through and I can think of quite a few blogs, such as yours, that I enjoy reading which are quite anonymous but brilliantly written. Then there are others with beautiful Instagram-perfect pictures that I don’t find interesting at all – even though they may also be well written. As you say, variety is the spice of life – everyone is different and a blog which appeals to one person may not appeal to another, for lots of different reasons and not always due to how much of the person behind the blog has been shared. My feeling is that there is no right or wrong on what to share but that we should all be aware of the potential impact what we share may have on our children. My rule of thumb has always been not to post anything that I would be uncomfortable about my mum or someone from my church reading or seeing.

    1. MMT Reply

      Perfect comment Louise. I realised pretty early on that there is no such thing as anonymous really…so would never post anything inflammatory to my ‘real life’ friends or family. I totally understand your reasons for the blog and they are entirely honorable. You have done so much to raise awareness of CHD, you should be extremely proud – no need for you to hide anywhere. Big Love to you all x

  35. Told By Mum Reply

    Eeek. When I start thinking about sharing so much online, I get a bit scared! But I’ve done it now. There’s no turning back. I really hope it wasn’t a wrong decision. Your decision to be anonymous in no ways detracts from your fabulous blog. Blog on! #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      Aaargh…just don’t even go there – I may be anonymous but the online sharing of personal info thing still totally freaks me out if I thin about it too much. So I try not to! Head in sand and all that! Thanks for the kind words, I will, indeed Blog ON! x

  36. This Mum's Life Reply

    I can’t believe you are heavily pregnant in that photo!!!!! You look so tiny! I’m with you on this! I’ve just got rid of my personal Facebook page, because it’s full of fake shit, which annoyed the living crap out of me. I can’t stand the whole ‘#besties for life!!’ and ‘this is my absolute world, being a mummy is the best job ever!’ crap that was plastered over my feed whenever I checked! I’d rather shoot myself in the head than be one of those people. I’m keeping the blog FB page going, but it gets very little love!! I’ve just got Instagram for the blog, which I put off for ages, because I didn’t know what I’d put on it, but I’m just going with ‘random stuff that I like or has made me laugh’ photos at the moment, which is in line with the blog I think! I can’t bear to have my babies faces out there, being judged, it seems too cruel. And I pretty much hate how I look at the moment, and have always thought selfies were a bit, well, self indulgent?! So not for me either! I started blogging with the thought that I’d be totally anonymous, because I was watching Gossip Girl at the time, and thought it would make me feel waaaay cool! I might change that one day, but I’ll see how it goes!
    #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      Hmmmm, I don’t see tiny! But I know what I looked like from the side ha ha. Beauty is, I suppose in the eye of the beholder 🙂 I can’t seem to nail the selfie thing either, good job I’m not sharing all the selfie fails!! Thanks for stopping by lovely, have a fab weekend x

  37. Becky Pink Reply

    Slightly worried about being one of the annoying ‘family snaps’ bloggers, eeek! I went for the black and white photo too! I have to say that given a choice, I’d like to see the blog author, I just feel it’s easier to make a connection with them for some reason. But I totally understand peoples’ reasons for not going down that route. It’s nice to have a mix really! Becky x #bestandworst

    1. MMT Reply

      Agreed…variety is the spice of…blogging! x PS never been turned off your blog yet, so it’s obviously not ‘one of them’ 😉

      1. Becky Pink Reply

        Oh phew!!

  38. Meagan's Mum Project (@mumproject) Reply

    I get you. I like the anonymous thing, mostly because it’s like reading a book, you get to use your imagination which is usually better anyway! Wait that came out the wrong way….not saying you would not be as good in real life! haha ; ) I always complained about those Moms who jammed up my newsfeed with photos of their ‘adorable’ baby, CM’N he’s not THAT cute! But since I’ve had mine, I have become one AAAHH. I’m sorry but I pushed that fat baby out of my body, I feel like I have the right haha. I’m not sure about the picture on my blog, actually it does make me a bit nervous having my photos up, I wish I could draw cute pictures like PoopRainbowMama!

    p.s. I really hate our selfie culture, can’t even imagine what my Grandparents really think about me?! when I saw tourists in SF with selfie sticks I almost threw up! ……then my Mom bought me one for Christmas…… #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      I never said I don’t do selfies…I just don’t post them ha ha. I am so with you on the kiddie pics thing – I get my hit by e mailing them to grandparents, they never get bored. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.

  39. Silly Mummy Reply

    This is really interesting, as I’m the same (& don’t even use instagram!) I wanted to be completely anonymous to start, but did eventually decide I was willing to surrender that when had opportunity to post for HuffPost. & had to have a head shot too. Which I hate! & having done that, I decided I may as well have a fb page, which I had avoided because I knew I would have to have link to my personal page & use personal profile to join groups, etc. Nonetheless, I still avoid drawing attention to the link when I can. If I can do things on fb as my page, I do. If I can use my blog name for anything, I do. & I never put photos on my blog. &, like you, I am unwilling to use my children’s pictures or names. &, in fact, my children are not on my personal fb or anywhere either. We agreed from start, way before blog, that we were not going to put our children online, as we think that should be for them to decide when old enough. I’m not wiling to break that rule with blog.

    However, I do also suspect that it does hold you back somewhat from becoming really big in blogging – people seem to like knowing all the personal details, and people like personal photographs. But, even so, I would not be comfortable with it. &, realistically, I probably would still never become a big name, as I don’t blog about the right sort of stuff, or widely enough for that! #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      Hello not so silly Mummy…i am right with you throughout this comment. I don;t even have a facebook, personal or blog. I’m pretty sure that although I’ll always be tempted, I won’t budge on this one. I hate the idea of seeing my face on my blog. shudder. Thanks for the in depth comment, soul-sister 😉 ps I disagree, your blog is BRILL

  40. absolutely prabulous Reply

    It’s a minefield and I’ve had to do a u-turn on some things I’d decided not to do when I started blogging. I do have a pic on my sidebar although I cross-processed it! I don’t name myself on my blog or my kids and never wanted to put photos of them on (and actually there are very few of them on my blog as mine isn’t that diary-style sort of parenting blog jam packed as you say with photos which I also find terribly off-putting). The kids’ pics bit is where I’ve had to do a u-turn as I realised I wasn’t giving a whole picture of my family and who I am and I’ve recently started putting pics of them on Instagram because it ‘works well for me’ yet I do wonder if I have the right to do that. But the thing that pisses me off is how Facebook blogging forums and Huffington Post require your personal name. That’s totally blown my anonymity thing out of the water!

    Confession…when I read your christening post, that’s where I started to feel frustrated that I don’t know what you or your kids look like. I remember seeing the dress and thinking but where’s the child?! But ultimately that’s my personal reaction and I have to deal with that and your blog is your blog is your blog is your blog. Nuff said. #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      I appreciate your honest comment prabs… I guess as the author it’s easy for me to lose sight of what the readers can’t see, as I have the images all in front of me! My Instagram does have odd pics of the girls, but not faces. I can’t see me changing my mind on that one any time soon, but if I was ever asked to write for the big HP I’d probably be happy to provide a grainy black and white sunglasses shot in return 🙂

  41. Claire at Tin Box Traveller Reply

    I think I chose my avatar originally because it gave me a certain amount of anonymity. Since then I have shared A LOT of pictures of my kids and a few of myself – mainly because I’m usually the one behind the camera. I wish I could say I had a grand plan for how and what I share online. I prefer to see people in pictures but I try to apply common sense beyond that. I totally respect everyone’s choices on this and wouldn’t consider not reading a blog because I haven’t seen the author’s face. Obviously! 🙂 #coolmumclub

    1. MMT Reply

      That’s good news for me then Claire! I am also rarely in pictures for the same reason. Always a little jealous of all the lovely photos of hubs with the girls!! X

  42. Life With Waldo Reply

    You make a lot of very valid points. Truth is, the only one to decide what’s best is you. Everyone has to do what they think is best. #coolmumclub

  43. lizzie ( firstooth ) Reply

    Lovely post. I do like to see the bloggers faces but then I go into this weird zone where I feel like I know them ”so and so did this today” and my friends will say ”who the devil is so and so”. It’s weird. I’m never put off from a blog if I can’t see their identities, if their content is fab I don’t even think about who they are. I understand many mums want to protect their identities and their children’s. There will come a point when pics of my children will become less and less and I will have to be more creative, but if it’s a must see pic like my son falling down the toilet, I will always include! I respect your anonymity but if ever you do uncloak I will come and have a butchers, that’s not weird is it? Lol! #coolmumclub

  44. Mess and merlot Reply

    Tricky one isn’t it? I’ve just started blogging (yay!) so had to make the decision last week whether to include a mug shot or not – I decided not to for now. Mainly because I haven’t actually told anyone I know about it yet as I’m not brave enough to GO PUBLIC! Maybe when I’m a bit more confident with my blog I’ll change my mind but for now I’m comfortable being a red wine stain 🙂

  45. Tim Reply

    I have the grand total of about six photos of myself – I hate appearing in photos – although, in fairness, one of them is in the sidebar of my blog and is used as my avatar everywhere, so I’m hardly anonymous. While I do think having a name and a photo that people can associate with can help build a relationship with a reader, I don’t think it’s necessary if you’re painting a picture of yourself through your writing.

    It’s swings and roundabouts, really. On the whole I’m happy to share photos of myself and my kids but there are times when I’ve had to pull back from writing about certain topics or making certain pointed comments because I know my blog is read by family and friends, and even some work colleagues and staff at the kids’ school and preschool.

    If nothing else, having a public profile pic makes you easier to identify at blogger events. Even, as I’ve discovered, when you are hiding behind a giant pot plant because you’re pathologically shy and terrified of crowds …

    1. MMT Reply

      Thanks Tim… I cannot disagree on any of your points. I just… Can’t bring myself to do it! I’m generally the opposite to shy which is is kind of ironic considering our approach to blog identity. I’ll come and find you from behind your plant and get you doing Karaeoke 😉 x

  46. chrisps Reply

    There’s different degrees of anonymity. I’d be interested to know if you’re friends know about your blog. In some ways, that would be a more profound anonymity.

    Touchline Dad

  47. New Mummy Blog Reply

    I completely agree! I would love to share our family shots, but it’s just not something I feel is fair on our family. I will never post a full on face shot on Baby H, despite me believing she is the cutest little person in the whole entire world. I really love the avatar style blogs, those with the fab illustration headers.

    I think your blog works so well, you have a great sense of who you are, and your blog is consistent – every time I see your posts in linkys they are very obviously yours (you must put so much work into each one!). Please don’t change them 🙂

    Lynne xx
    PS Gutted I’m not going to BML… I might have to think about going 🙂

    PPS I’ve written this comment SO many times now… and keep loosing it – first there was no post button, and then my laptop died, then i thought I lost it…. so I did see it before #coolmumclub, but the latest time I came back was through there so #coolmumclub wins!!

    1. MMT Reply

      Totally bowled over by your comments lovely…are you sure you have the right blog?! 😉 Means such a lot…have an amazing weekend X X

  48. Mum in Brum Reply

    Great post Sarah! I had an issue with personal images in the beginning and kept them to a minimum but I guess I’ve got carried away as the blog’s grown and now I’m cool with it. Completely understand why some bloggers prefer to remain anonymous though and I respect you for keeping your kids private. I do hate selfies though and really struggle to find a decent ‘selfie face’ – it just isn’t me! I’d love to vlog one day too, but I just can’t see it ever happening as I hate watching myself on video!! And I’m with you on those blogs where images are solely of the kids – it is a little bit like hearing a mate go on and on…let me know if I ever become that blogger will you? #coolmumclub xx

    1. MMT Reply

      Ditto Nat! I love the individuality of blogs, bloggers and blogging, and I guess the angle of mine is what makes it…mine?! I don’t expect everyone to love it, but I’m cool with that. I always imagine the bloggers with amazing photos must be married to great photographers! Sadly, I am not so am always behind the camera. With you on the selfies thing…they always seem a good idea at the end of a night out though ha ha 😉 x

  49. butterflymum83 Reply

    Such a great post and something I think about a lot myself. When I first started blogging I wanted to stay anonymous just because of the topic of PND and stuff. But as time as gone on I’ve allowed myself to be more and more usual – I said to myself “you are trying to break down stigma and yet you’re too scared to show the world your face?.” So I began allowing pics on things like your lovely meet the members etc. But I don’t think I’ll post pics of me or my family very regularly, I would rather let my words speak for themselves.

    Most of my friends and family know about my experience with PND and my blog but even now I’ve never shared a post on my personal Facebook for ALL my “friends” to see (most of whom I never actually see in RL…). Maybe one day I will be brave enough but maybe not.

    So in short, no I don’t think it’s bad at all for bloggers to be anonymous 🙂 #coolmumclub

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